I can't get over my ex's comments?

While I was with him he used to tell me he found this singer or that actress hot. I found this irritating, but figured it was normal since he was a young guy. Anyway, the thing is, it kind of did affect me when he told me he liked big breasts better because they were just hotter (I have small breasts), or when he commented on my cellulite, and asked me whether there was something I could do about it.

When he noticed how much his comments had affected me, he tried to make it right by telling me he was an idiot and shouldn't have mentioned it. But the damage had already been done. I also started noticing how the women he told me he thought were hot fitted his criteria of hotness: big boobs, no cellulite, they were my complete opposite.

Even nowadays if I see these women, or women similar to them in the street, I feel so ugly and un-confident. Are all men like this? Do they all think these type of women are the most attractive? I'm not gonna get surgery. Also, how do I get over his comments? It's been a couple months since we broke up, but the comments still affect me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • On behave of the men who don't say things that damage a woman's self image, I'm sorry to hear that there are men out there that still say the stupidest things. Not all men are like that, especially the men who see beyond the looks of women and embrace everything about them, not just focus on the exterior. The media has portrayed women to be these goddesses and that all women should look like them in order to belong into the popular society. They mainly do this for marketing purposes and for retail sales. I can tell you this, If I saw a hot girl or any girl that was described by your ex and she was a bitch or just a bad person in general, I would see her as the most ugliest person that I've ever met. It takes a lot of guts to be a great and wonderful person without falling into the crowd of materialistic beings and shallowness. You're ex is a pig and only thinks with his little friend down below. A true man and kind man, would never say such things and would only embrace the beauty in any women that he is with. For me, I dated girls who were super models, who didn't have the best boobs or what not, but it didn't matter to me because I know that I wasn't going out with them for their exterior parts (although I have to admit they need to be attractive at least, not necessarily hot but you know, soft on the eyes.") Anyways, I was going out with them for their personality because in the long run, looks will come and go, but a persons ability to make one laugh and feel safe in all aspects is a long lasting trait that all should strive to have and be for another.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Big boobs are attractive to most men. You just have to deal with that. If it bothers you when someone says they're hot, ask them to stop. You can't fault someone for something they can't control. As for your cellulite, there are things you can do about it, and I don't think he was out of line asking you about it. If he said things like, "that's ugly" and "wow that's gross," he is an asshole. But if you don't like something about your partner's appearance, you shouldn't be afraid to ask them if they could change it.

  • Oh everyone has this problem. You'll always feel unattractive, just make yourself feel as sexy as possible and realize that your not caterin' for his tastes any longer, considering he is your ex.


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