I need an opinion about my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend?

OK, so my boyfriend and I have known each other for over 10 years. We have a lot of the same friends and acquaintances. We got together a few months after his last ex, who he broke up with for various reasons, and whom he dated for less than a year. It's been over a year since we got together, and we live together, have a baby girl, and are super happy.

Now, he deleted her phone number and took her off of his facebook right after they broke up because he had tried to be friends with her but she kept freaking out about their relationship, so he hasn't really spoken to her much the whole time we've been together, except at shows (he's in a band) when she says hi and tries to talk to him.

Now, this is the issue:

She didn't have too many friends when they started dating, and so he introduced her to a lot of his friends. He has one guy friend in particular who he's known since they were kids; he has a key to this friend's house and everything. The problem is that all his friends hang out there, and since him and her broke up, he hasn't really been able to go over there because he doesn't want issues with this ex. But he obviously misses his boys.

Now, last week, his band had a show and the ex went up to him and asked if they could be friends. He told her that they had already tried that and it hadn't worked. So she told him that he shouldn't be concerned about the fact that she's always at his boy's house, and to feel free to stop by any time.


She's ALWAYS there. He wants to go, because he wants to see his friends (some of which are my friends as well) and that's completely understandable. BUT she's done little things towards me that make me really hate her guts, and I'm afraid that she's gonna try to get close to him while he's there.

I know them, and I know he would NOT cheat or even get close to it. He also would put her in her place if she even tried to get close to him inappropriately, but I'm SO insecure about her. I don't really know why because like I said before, he's never done anything to make me doubt him and we're VERY happy together. But this is eating at me and I'm so uncomfortable that I'm afraid it's gonna start affecting our relationship.


I've mentioned my issues to him and he basically told me that if I'm uncomfortable, he won't go there at all. He'll try to find a way to see his friends outside of his boy's house. BUT that makes me feel really bad, because I WANT him to see his friends... I'm just so uncomfortable with her...


This is what's gone through my mind:

- Keep talking to him about it

- Go to the house with him, since I know almost everyone there anyway (but I won't be able to relax because she'll be there)

- Talk to the ex about this (which I would really prefer not doing, since she's so bitchy towards me anyway)

- Let him go and just freak out the whole time...



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What Guys Said 1

  • 1. Tell him to meet his friends somewhere else. Have them over to your house. Go to a pub. Anything that will be away from the ex.

    2. Start trusting your boyfriend. You say you do, but you really don't if you worry something will happen with the ex.


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