I miss my ex and want him back?

We dated for a little over 2 years and lived together for a year and a half. He broke up with me a month ago today because all we ever did was argue over stupid little things because we were frustrated with our jobs and everything else. We had a joint phone bill and I had to cancel his account. He texted me about 3 days later telling me his new number and saying that he wanted me to have it because he still cares and wanted me to be able to talk to him. He said he still wanted to be friends but that we would never be together again. A few days after that he texted me telling me that he missed me and felt like he was falling into a hole he could not get out of. I texted him a few times just to talk after that and all I got from it was an argument. I texted him once just to say goodnight and he got p*ssed off and started yelling at me for being nice and he started bringing up all old arguments and telling me to leave him alone because I was bothering him. Well, after a few days of that I finally texted him today saying that I will never text him again because that is what he wants and to talk to me when he gets over whatever is making him be an ass. I ended it with saying I will do what he wants and be dead to him. I just don't get why one day he says he misses me and the next he doesn't seem like he ever even cared about me. Is he just confused because that is what I am getting from all of the conversations we have. A couple days ago he called me because he was worried about me and he said WE need to learn to realize we are broken up. I questioned him why he said WE and not me. All he said was that he said it wrong and took it back. I know that I'm supposed to not contact him, which I tried not to, but then when he contacted me first, I started texting him a little too much. I don't know if I should leave my last text as is or apologize for it, because I feel like it was to mean to say that but at the same time it is how I feel. I'm just so lost, please help.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would say don't worry, there's still a lot of hope in there. The most important thing is if you try to learn from this lesson and see that it is test of your patience.

    A lot of young couples have this, sometimes even older ones. It is not surprising to have an argument every now and then. The most important thing is to learn to forgive each other afterward and move on from the experience. Actually sometimes it is healthy from a psychological perspective to have an argument - it shows that you still care about the little things (even though it feels negative) and reminds you that you are not a rock but made of flesh and blood...and have feelings too. Think of it that without these emotions, we can't be who we are. It is through these raw emotions that we get to experience life as it is.

    I suspect that your partner is one of those men who find it very hard in life to communicate with others normally, and most probably keep themselves to themselves, on top of a very bad temperament. Such people keep a lot of emotions hidden within and it really takes a loving person to truly make them shine because they are really fragile underneath. I actually know a few people in my own life who are like that, so I understand your issues.

    To get back to your partner, it will not take a lot of effort but it'll probably take a little time and patience. They probably also need some time out. Space for reflection is important for such people. I would also suggest that ignoring them a little would also be in order to let them understand you have feelings too...though don't ignore them totally. When it comes to the time they return your call or texts and say they want you or they miss you - only then should you reply and ask them how they are doing/feeling. And then from there, build rapport and arrange maybe for you and him to go somewhere quiet and peaceful you both really enjoy or some special arrangement like a show you'd both like to watch. This will make him realize how important you are to him, and hopefully should help ease what happened before and open him up (and be a little more attentive and concerned for your feelings in future).

    Remember that love is a two way street. It goes both ways and nobody should be holding all the reins.

    Hope that helps. :)

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    • Thanks... But since he left he is already dating a mutual friend and I found out he had cheated so I pretty much hate him for it now... I'm just staying single for a while because I don't want to be hurt like he hurt me again... I tried everything with him, ignoring him, being a friend, screaming, nothing changed anything... I know love is a 2 way street and I let him decide everything, which was my mistake...

    • Sorry to hear that...hope it works out better next time.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I would just leave it... I don't think that there's anything you can do. He knows he can talk to you if he wants to, and I think he really doesn't want to be with you any more, unfortunately.

    He may say a couple of nice things, but almost everything he said was mean and rude. Don't let yourself get abused like that -- I think it is time for you to move on.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Your story is very much like my experience of breaking up with my ex 10 mnths ago the only difference is that neither of us offered to b friend one another- there was others involved in our break up which there fore made it impossible for us to sort things out in our own way, these others never gave my ex time to weigh things up as they got into his head and he's even in a relationship with one of the suspects. I unfortunatly never got the chance to build any repore with him, so fir you I think you need to think hard and ask yourself... Do you want another go if one came up? Or would you prefer to be on your own for a while and take another path in life? Good luck

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    • I'm sorry to hear that. Mine ended up going pretty much the same way though. I've been keeping busy and going out with old friends and I found out that he had cheated on me a year before he left. I questioned him on it and he wouldn't say if it was true or not unless I told him who told me. So to answer your question I want nothing to do with him. I still love him but I don't think I could trust him again. He has also been dating a mutual friend since 2 months after he left me.

  • get the most recent issue of cosmo magazine. they have a lot of good advice even on this topic. it'll take time to figure out what to do but if arguing is all you do, there's no point in being in the relationship.

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