If you love them, let them go?

You all know the saying..."If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." ...but what if you broke up with that person because they cornered you into a situation where you had no choice but to do it. They created a small tiny disagreement into Something bigger causing you to break up with them...Now I feel like I got dumped even though I'm the one who called it quits. Does this saying count even if I didn't want the break up to happen? He's playing the victim even though he knows that his behavior was wrong.

count?


0|0
66

Most Helpful Guy

  • If what you said is rite then lemme explain it in another way.There's an idiom that goes in our language which suits your ex 'he killed the snake without breaking the stick' i.e. he used you as a bait into breaking up the relation showing as if he wasn't the one who wanted to break up. now I hope you get the picture.

    3|3
    0|0
    • OMG I completely understand. he pulled the bait and switch on me. A week leading up to the break up he stop texting me like he used to and would act hot and cold when I was around. He created an argument and he said "i just didn't want to deal with u" He cornerd me. I didn't see another way. Plus he said I care about you but not as much as I should. So I have respect and pride and walked away.

    • Show All
    • Thanks Guys....I appreciate the support. :)

    • Glad we could help :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • The same thing happened to me in an LDR. I noticed trouble brewing because of the distance making it difficult so I said we needed to take a break and we did. Before she even came home I knew I had become the 'bad guy.' She had changed our history together to make me into an awful person when I didn't do anything wrong and I ultimately felt like the one who got dumped.

    I think the saying still goes I just think that you're only looking at the first half of it. I'm guilty of that too but the saying is still true.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well this saying counts if you had been dumped by the person...As you had written that if it return then its yours not before that ... So dear everything counts on you what do you want? Whether to remain in the same situation or just avoid it! When you will avoid this stuff you will get use to it and one day will got your time and space somewhere...Where it is written! So chill out dear!

    0|0
    0|0
  • k, this is creepy, because I'm him, I acted the same way, and I miss her, so I'm trying to get back in contact with her, regardless of where it goes, I just want to be able to talk to her, we connected and got along too well not to be able to talk

    0|0
    0|0
    • Ok? answer me this. Why would you behave this way? y would he make me feel so bad and corners me into breaking up when deep down he knows its been him doing wrong all along...I feel like I'm the one who got dumped even tho its the other way around. Now he's playing the frikin victim! ugh! you guys are frustrating :)

    • Show All
    • Im not being arrogant. I just know I didn't do anything wrong....He now says he just didn't have time for me in his busy schedule. He should have said that in the firs place instead of being a child.

    • He coulda. probably didn't want to hurt your feelings

  • i agree with you

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you love them, let them go, is right, but not for your boyfriend, he wanted break up, and was seeking anything for break up, now he has done, what he wanted, so forget him, he was not the only person is this world

    1|0
    0|0
    • I know. Its awesome to read guys points of views. But I refuse from this moment forward to live my life looking through the rearview mirror. :)

What Girls Said 6

  • No it doesn't count and do NOT get back together with him or let him treat you like a booty call. That's classic passive aggressive behavior and trust me, you don't want anything to do with a person who is passive aggressive the way your ex is being.

    Passive Aggressive (adj.) Of, relating to, or having a personality disorder characterized by habitual passive resistance to demands for adequate performance in occupational or social situations, as by procrastination, stubbornness, sullenness, and inefficiency.

    Covert (adj.) Not openly shown, engaged in, or avowed: VEILED

    Passive Aggressive Behavior Defined:

    Passive Aggressive behavior is a form of covert abuse. When someone hits you or yells at you, you know that you've been abused. It is obvious and easily identified. Covert abuse is subtle and veiled or disguised by actions that appear to be normal, at times loving and caring. The passive aggressive person is a master at covert abuse.

    Passive aggressive behavior stems from an inability to express anger in a healthy way. A person's feelings may be so repressed that they don't even realize they are angry or feeling resentment. A passive aggressive can drive people around him/her crazy and seem sincerely dismayed when confronted with their behavior. Due to their own lack of insight into their feelings the passive aggressive often feels that others misunderstand them or, are holding them to unreasonable standards if they are confronted about their behavior.

    0|0
    0|0
  • When someone turns a tiny disagreement into a big blow-out, you have to ask yourself why. I can tell you that some people purposely create situations like this for a variety of reasons. They can either knowingly or subconsciously want to break-up but not want to be the "bad guy" for initiating the breakup so they create a situation that forces the other person into breaking up instead. I can also say they may not even realize they are doing any of this, but trust me, it is serving a deeper need they have to move on.

    People can want to move on not necessarily because they have an issue with you. They can do this based on their own issues, often issues they are unaware of and have not addressed.

    All I can say is that there is a lot more to this behavior than just showing someone that they turned nothing into something and I wouldn't count on him figuring all this out and getting back with you.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Im not counting on the fact that he will return. That's not what I would want in the long run. I wouldn't be able to trust him. & the things that were said hurt very much. Thanks :)

  • I didn't know the second part of that saying - it's very good, not always true though, because sometimes guys will cling to you out of neediness and not love.

    As for your situation: He didn't have the guts to break up with you obviously, that's very cheap but such is life. Not everyone is fair enough to take the "blame" of a break-up but instead they push it onto their partner.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i believe in the let them go movement.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I completely understand how you feel. I did the dumping and yet I ended up feeling like I had been dumped. In my case the guy is coming back after realizing he made a mistake. not sure I can forgive him though.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Im sorry for what your going through but I'm proud your not quick to jump only because he said so. I'm moving on but don't want to think at the "what if he comes back".

  • it sounds like this guy wasn't right for you and had some issues of his own preventing him from being a good man for you. it counts. let him go, if he comes back and is CHANGED then it was true love

    0|0
    0|0
    • Ur absoulutely right....He does have somethings to work on. He's very prideful and even if it kills him he will not come back. He always told me so. But I gotta let it go. Thanks...

    • Come on dear!! don't get so serious !!! nothing is true love .....the thing which counts is just the sincerity!!! by sincerity I meant that how much you know yourself!!! that's the truth of our lives actually is !!!! so chilll baby!!!

Loading... ;