He is really hurting after our break up. I don't know what to do?

I broke up with him 2 months ago, because I just don't feel the same for him anymore. We were together for about two years and it has been a great relationship. But it had to end. Now he is really hurting. He is calling me, crying, and my friend tell me he is really depressed. I feel so guilty for making him feel this way. It's to the point that I feel nauseous, can't eat and I have lost about ten pounds just from this guilty feeling. I don't want to get back together, but I don't know how to make him feel better.

Should I try talking to him about it again of just stay away as I have been doing.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • no, you do not need to discuss it with him anymore. do not blame yourself for how he feels. if you are still friends with him, this might be hard, but yeah, he is hurting because of how long you two were together, and he is really wanting you back. but you don't need to be losing weight over it. yes, it's okay to be sad after a break up, especially with a relationship that long, but you aren't hurt from the break up in general, don't make a big deal out of it. people grow apart, and it does happen. I probably wouldn't see anyone else for a while, just to show him that you aren't jumping back into something with some one else, but he is the one who is hurt. you are hurt because you hurt him, its a natural feeling. just give him some time, he was used to the attachment you two had, now he has to relearn again how to stand on his own two feet with out support. he will be fine. time heals everything, no matter how long it takes. give him space.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I don't think you need to explain it again. He needs to find peace within himself, and the only way he can do that is space, and time to heal. I know it's hard to hear what's happening with him, and I can see why it weighs heavy with you, you had a long time with him (2 years is along time).

    I feel if he has support for himself (his friends, and family), then he'll be alright. I don't think you need to concern yourself with him. I know it might feel like your giving him a cold shoulder, but it's for him to heal within himself. Of course I'm not saying no contact is necessary. I was actually talking to a friend I met online here, and it was the opposite side of the spectrum. She was the one hurting, she was the one that didn't end the relationship, but at the end it was the fact of just letting go, and having faith that things would get better within her own-self. Because sometimes the people that we have in our lives may not be there entirely, sometimes our paths move away from one another, but I feel they intertwine from time to time, and maybe down the line you, and your ex will, but at this time it's his time to heal, and your time to walk your path.

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  • are you sure its just guilt? answer him, if you ignore him after a two year relationship that is really sad. Then again if he's calling all of the time, well you have to make sure he understands what will happen. Just make sure he knows that you want to get over him and you can't be in contact with him to do that.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Believe me ... just stay away. Give this guy another chance at life and love.

    If you don't love him completely or want to be with him, giving him scraps of attention or visiting him because you feel "guilty" will be disastrous for him. It's impossible for anyone that loved you to move on this way.

    When you want to stop smoking cigarettes, you don't torture yourself and smoke one or two every day. You just - quit.

    It takes a lot of will-power, and a lot of time.

    The best thing you can do is be nice to him, but say firmly you can't see him for a while. Don't mention "being friends" ... yes, it might happen when he is finally over you, but if you say it now, he'll think he has another chance with you and won't be able to move on. Don't.

    Try to bump into him, see him and call him as little as possible - preferably not at all for at least half a year. It's very abrupt, but it's the only way he'll take the hint, stand up and try to move on. And he does deserve this chance. He needs to find someone who can love him back now.

    After a year or so, you might want to call or stay in touch as friends, but don't be too nice or flirty in case he misunderstands.

    That is all. =P

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  • If you haven't already, talk to him ONE last time. Tell him under no uncertain terms it is OVER. Steel yourself, don't let him touch you, don't touch him. Tell him clearly you need your time to clear your head, and that means he MUST not contact you. Tell him if he does you will take actions to block his further attempts.

    Then walk away.

    Judging by your age he must be somewhere in the same ball park. Boy needs to grow up.

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  • you say that you don't feel the same for him so how you spend 2 years together dnt talk to him you really heart him he will be fine but that need time

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