Don't know what to think with this girl?

So I'm dating this girl I met 3 weeks ago. We've been on two dates, the first date was great. We walked around the nightlife area where I live, then went back to her place, cuddled, and watched a movie on her couch till around 1AM. The only negative was that I didn't kiss her when I had such an obvious and easy chance. The second date went even better, we played mini-golf, had lots of laughs, went to my place to watch a movie, cuddled, and we had two different short make-out sessions (one time on my couch where I just went for it, and the second time right before I drove her home). Well, our last (second) date was Sunday, and I waited until Wednesday to contact her (giving her some space so I don't come off as desperate and needy).

Here is where I get confused. I text her first, she texts back quickly, I text her again at 1:30PM but don't receive a response until 7PM (she's probably working in this time frame so it's cool), I responded at around 9PM when I got out of the gym and also asked her out in that same message. Now it's been almost a full day and I still haven't gotten a response. She did something like this before the second date, where she took a full day to actually confirm the date. Usually this would strike me as low interest, but I could give several reasons why she doesn't, seem to have at least, low interest, including our two different make-outs on the second date. I'm gonna be honest and say I'm mindf*cked right now. I don't know if she's playing games with me or what... Thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay, my first impression of the situation is that she may just be really busy or maybe something unexpected came up that has prevented her from responding sooner. It sounds like she has interest in you. There is something I want to point out if I may. You mentioned how you waited until Wednesday to contact her (giving her some space so you don't come off as desperate and needy) ... it's possible that she may be thinking the same way. And I know this sucks. I have found the dating world to be a horrific place to be because there seems to be all these rules and guidelines about how one should act or what one should do ... why not just be ourselves and respond the way we feel? It would be much simpler if everyone would just stop buying into the whole "He's Just Not That Into You" garbage! I say garbage because it's ridiculous to think interaction between two people can be generalized. I don't know if you indicated to her in your last text when you wanted to go out/see her, but I think that if she doesn't respond by let's say just after 7PM the next day (reasonable since she responded at about that time the last time you sent a text to her) maybe you should just call her.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Some people aren't that attached to their cellphones, so she might have seen your message and thought: OK, I'm busy now so I'll answer later, but she might've forgotten that last part.

    If she wouldn't like you, she wouldn't have gone on a second date with you and wouldn't have made out with you.

    But next time you wanna ask her out, maybe you could call her so you get your response immediately?

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What Guys Said 1

  • she's jerking you around.

    it's just plain rude to not reply to a phone call by the end of the day.

    my educated guess (having been in similar situations) is that she's bouncing between several guys, and she's reluctant to confirm with you in case a "better" option comes along.

    or, she's a flake. do you want to date a flake who shows no regard for your time and feelings?

    if you want to give her another chance, I suggest you try something like this: call her (NOT a text) and if she doesn't answer, leave a voice mail similar to this:

    "Hi, this is John calling to see if you want to have another date this Thursday. If I don't hear from you by the end of the day, I'll assume you're not interested, and if so, thanks for the dates and good luck in life."

    The goal of a message like this is to let her know you're interested, but that you WILL NOT tolerate anyone jerking you around and that you're not afraid to close the door on someone. If she's simply a little flaky, your message might whip her into shape. But if she does the same non-replying garbage once more, I'd forget about her and move on.

    Never make excuses for people who mistreat you. You know when you're being jerked around.

    Good luck.

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