How to break up with my sensitive boyfriend?

I've been with my boyfriend almost two years but lately I've been putting a lot of thought into breaking up with him. I do love him but we got together when we were 18 and I've matured and he hasn't and he's just not what I need at this stage of my life.

In the past we've had fights and almost broken up and there has always been a lot of tears, and he's even self-harmed and talked of suicide. I really still care for him and don't want him to do anything drastic, but how can I insure this when I break up with him?

Do you think if I ended it calmly and not in a fight it would be better?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell him that you need to discuss something very imporant. Tell him how you feel. Tell him exactly what you wrote on here: That you have grown and you feel that he needs to grow more. With that said you want to end the relationship. remain civil and if you two happen to cross path again at the right time when you both are on that same mind state maybe things can work out. He is going to be crushed but don't get into a fight. WALK AWAY.

    If you don't want him to harm himslef, don't start cacting distant all of a sudden and just disappera slowly. TALK TO HIM! it'll be best for you both

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    • Thanks for the help. Do you think it would be better to do in public where we can't cause a scene, or in private?

    • Well in private would be best, but don't lock yourself in a room with him. You never know someone 100%. tell him and if he starts to cause a scene , as hard as this is to do, just walk away. if you have to cry go do it , but not in front of him. Let him deal with it. You have to move on with your life, eventually he will too

    • I'll do it as his house then so I can just leave once it's been done. Thank you, you have been so helpful.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • I wouldn't do it at his house or your house. Do it on mutual grounds.

    The 2 year mile stone doesn't make a difference IMO. Just be 100% sure of your decission before you make it cause you can't undo what your about to do.

    You say the good bits are only average bits but you have to realize that the honeymoon period is over. You can't expect it to be like that the whole way through a relationship.

    I'm not trying to sway your argument either way but what I am telling you is that you will get into another relationship and you will start to feel bored again. Its up to you when you choose to settle but I maybe think were too young for that stuff now.

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  • If you want to break up with someone then its not your problem how he feels about it. You can't rely on yourself to be the only thing that stops him from cutting himself. If that's the case then he has serious issues with or without you.

    Just be honest with him. If this is how you feel you could say something like:

    "I don't want to be with you any more because I feel that I've changed so much as a person since we got together that its not working for me anymore"

    You have to be stern and although it will kill you to break his heart, your doing both of you a favour in the long run if things aren't working out.

    Saying that, is there anything that would make the relationship work? if there's hope and he's just being imature then just tell him that. if he doesn't sort things out on his side then he has no reason to be angry after youve given him a chance.

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    • Thank you for your help. We have tried to make it work in the past 'rough patches' but it always ends up the same, only now even the good bits are just average bits. And I think he knows it hasn't been right lately so hopfefully it will all go well. I just want to do it before we hit the 2 year milestone, ya know?

  • Don't kill me for being honest ;)

    Most times the guys feel hurt because they feel "rejected" and feel like they will never again find a women. Sure it's also about you (and that part can only be handled by the "bitch" idea but it shouldn't be your problem).

    So a good solution in all honesty would be:

    Make him cheat!

    1. You will feel good because he did it.

    2. He will feel not as bad as usual because he gets the feeling that he can actually get a new girlfriend. (Just never let him know you set this up... never!)

    And with enough confidence it won't take long for him to get a new one.

    Best solution imo

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  • just tell him the truth. nothing good can come of trying to lie to make him feel better, if he finds out you like lied its just gonna maje it 100000000 times worse

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  • Just be a bitch to him till he breaks up with you, he will be glad to be ride or you, or just cheat on him with his friends, brother, sister, mother etc

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    • Oh, dear lord, please do not listen to this! This is the worst advice- seriously! I agree with Wlad14. And he's right about not avoiding/ignoring him. That's an awful feeling and you need to be kind. at the same time, you do have to stand your ground and do what's best for you. Just don't let it escalate to a fight! Good luck1

  • Oh he's gonna kill himself either way.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You are kind and sensitive to be so concerned with your boyfriend's feelings. That is a wonderful quality for you to have and I do understand you still love him and want the best for him. You tell him exactly what you told us. You care and want his happiness but feel you have grown apart and do not want the same things anymore. I have heard this before - my sister and her boyfriend were in the same place. They did break up - they have remained friends - VERY good friends... and it was for the best. Because you are acting in such a loving manner - I would sincerely doubt that he wants to lose your friendship.. Have that talk soon ( I know it's difficult).. He deserves honesty... Hugz.

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