Break-up mess, how should I handle this? :)

My ex-boyfriend just got into a new relationship 4 months after we broke up. When we were together he mentioned that it was rare for him to ever have the feelings he had when he was with me, and when breaking up we decided ti stay friends, and we chat 3-4 times week now.

Now when he has moved on he still talks to me, quite a lot. I don't mind as such, but I find it weird that he still uses me as the first person to call when he gets a job or so. I feel that even tho he might not know it, he still needs something from me. Could be closure or whatever, but I don't know how to handle this in the best way.

He still uses my old nickname for me and makes sure that I'm doing OK, proof read my uni stuff which he used to do when we were an item (I would never read my ex's uni thesis of 70 pages just to be nice). On some sick level I feel like he is using the new girl to show me that he is now able to commit to all those things he wasn't when we were together. At the time when we broke up he had to stay in his hometown to stick with a trusted therapist, so we broke up because of distance although there was millions of other reasons. Now he is moving to another country for the sake of the new girl. So could this be the case? Obviously I realize that not everything center around me, and that he might be 100% happy with her.

Anyways, in no way do I want to get back together with this guys, but at the same time he will always be special to me since what we had was special. But I would like to know how to handle this without getting sucked into it and without drama. Any takers? :)

Updates:
Thnx, always get awesome replies from the people on this site <3


Yep, will draw the line and try and distance myself a bit more from it all, should make it easier for him as well in his new relationship :)


Thnx again guys :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey, you're doing very well so far :).

    He'll be special to you and you to him for a long time, that you guys want to stay in touch is completely normal. I don't think he's using the new girl in any way to get back at you. If he was using her I'd imagine he'd be much more cruel toward you/her.

    The fact that you admit you don't want to get back together is a huge step. With that step, you should be able to break free a little more.

    You're handling it just fine, keep at it the way you are now and ther'll be no drama.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You need to decide where you want to draw the line. And draw it.

    Decide what you are most comfortable with, and let him know under no uncertain terms.

    It sounds like he still cares for you, certainly. But the connection there must be severed if you are both to be able to move on with your respective lives.

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