Hi everyone, I'm really desperate for advice - any will do! please.. I know this is going to be quite lengthy but thank you to any responders in advance :)
Ive been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, and I must say our relationship hasn't exactly been smooth sailing. However he is fantastic, he does a lot for me. However, lately I've been growing some suspicions about him cheating, and while deep down I think he isn't someone who will do something like that, I couldn't help but suspect. Some people have told me it's just me being insecure. Last weekend, we went away for a short trip, and I know it's wrong but while he was in the shower I read his text messages. Turns out there were a lot of flirty messages to this one girl who he claims that he is good friends with, and he explained that the messages were only jokingly flirting. The girls boyfriend actually called me to explain that its all jokes. So I accepted that.
Yesterday however, I asked him to show me his phone. After reading those flirty messages before, any traces of trust that I had in him was totally diminished. So I read his messages and found out about another girl that apparently he had a 'thing' for. He even said so in one of his messages to his best friend. My boyfriend denies it however, and when I pointed the message out, he said that it was just joking. I made him call the girl, and she did say that there was nothing going on.
However, what I found the most suspicious was a text from his best friend one night they were out saying 'you know those girls that were next to us in the restaurant? I reckon I could have gotten them to sleep with us'
This makes me wonder, why would his best friend say something like that to my boyfriend when he knew he had me? I know the friend is a bit of a sleaze, but why did he say 'us'? Does my boyfriend do it too?
My boyfriend swears that he has never done anything unfaithful to me but I find it so hard to trust him now. I feel torn between leaving or to give it another go, because I really do care about him.
I tend to over analyse and I have no idea if I am making a correct analysis here or I'm just being paranoid! My boyfriend is the last person I would suspect to be a sleaze, and my friends who know him would agree with me. But then I don't understand why he is acting like this? It's like there's a hidden side that I never knew about! Please, can someone tell me if I'm over-reacting or not?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read all this and any advice!
Most Helpful Guy
He may be cheating. He may not be. The issue is that you don't trust him anymore, and that may be indicative of the end of the relationship. His friend was just being a guy. Guys say that, even if they don't really plan on it. Boyfriends flirt with other girls sometimes. It doesn't have to go anywhere or mean anything. It sounds like he's at least getting frustrated or bored with you for whatever reason.
You two need to sit down and talk about what the problems are with your relationship and try your best to solve them. If you don't feel as though you can trust him anymore, then just end it. There is you can do.0