How to deal with my girlfriend leaving me for her ex?

So my girlfriend of nearly 4 and half years broke it off with me and I am absolutely devastated. We went to high school together and were friends but she dated one of the guys in our group our senior year. I didn't have an attraction to her then and even encouraged my friend to pursue her. After we graduated she went to school in Texas (we're in CA) and after her first semester she broke it off with that guy because he was controlling and she wanted the college life. After her first year her and I really hit it off and started dating. She went to Texas and I was in San Luis Obispo, CA in school and we did the long distance thing and it worked. After her second year she wanted to come back the CA and I went to school in San Diego and so did she. Those years were great but her biggest passion is riding horses competitively and being in school she couldn't and on top of it her parents weren't able to afford the horse so for the past year and half she hasn't had him. During the summers that she did she would go to shows and compete and I started to not support her. In May we graduated and came home and things started to feel off but we kept talking about it and getting through it. Now last Thursday I asked her why she had been off the past couple months and seemed unhappy. She said she loved me but her heart wasn't in it. She felt she needed to be alone to appreciate us and that she didn't think we were meant for each other. She also told me that 3 weeks prior she talk to her ex at her house (his dad passed away in June and her dad had a stroke and throat cancer and can't speak) to support him. But when he left he kissed her and she said her feelings for him were coming back. We agreed that for the next few days we wouldn't talk and that she wouldn't talk to her ex so she could figure things out and we'd talk on Sunday. Well Sunday came around and she said she was going to dinner and would call me to talk. She never did and I couldn't sleep and had a weird feeling and drove by her exes house. She was there. I texted her saying that I deserved to talk to her and she agreed to yesterday. She said that she had time to think and figured out that she's been hurt because I don't support her riding and we don't hang out with her family enough. This has been a problem but I hadn't realized it until our time alone. I told her I wanted to change and I had realized that things could be different. She said no she wasn't ready and needed time alone but I don't understand if she was confiding in her ex. She said she was going through a hard time and so was he and his family. and they're not dating. But for graduation she gave me tickets to Carrie Underwood last night. Obviously we didn't go but I being nosy just checked her email and she had bought tickets to Carrie Underwood tonight. and there was a plane ticket to Orange County (his family goes to Disneyland a lot) I'm just so confused because I'm alone in pain and she's off with someone else. I never saw this


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  • Yeah dude that SUCKS! The truth is, she always had feelings for this guy, she just kept them on lock down and used you as a distraction, I know sounds harsh but its true. You messed up, when she wanted to break up! you should have said "alright I believe this is for the best".

    Listen the first thing I want you to do (you wont) is to delete her from your Fbook, phone, e-mail, etc. Establish no-contact and hit up the gym (good way to get rid of strees). Second, bro she is hanging with her EX! that right there should trigger some anger in you, use that and tell yourself "its better that it happend now instead of latter (marriage)". Third, accept that she is gone.

    "I never saw this" Well I'm sure you did, I'm sure you also had that gutt feeling that something wasn't right but just pushed it aside.

    Your better off without her dude, I know your hurting right now but DO NOT contact her, e-mail, phone, text, drive by her house, check her e-mail, etc...makes you look needy and pathetic, your better than that man.

    Keep your head high and have dignity man. Vent your anger out at the gym, talk to your friends, concentrate on yourself and good riddance to bad trash.

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  • Stay strong man. Stay strong. Do not contact her. Screw her. She has no right to treat you like that. She can break-up with you without being a complete ass, and ruining the memory of your time together. Lying, kissing other guys = unacceptable. People get confused, people fall out of love - but that never justifies treating someone who has loved you like dirt.

    Walk away.

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