Break up - He said he cares for me but doesn't love me?

My boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me 2 days ago. His reasons were - His feelings have changed, he told me he felt more like a carer than a boyfriend overtime and that everything got too much for him and that I broke his heart every time I was upset and that he tried to keep me happy but failed and that I've tired him out. and he doesn't love me but still cares for me.

I told him I would give anything for us to be back together, not just carry on, but really get to know each other again. and then he said he's trying and then asked what I would do differently if we did? And I told him a few things and he said he'd give it some thought..

The last things I sent him was a text telling him that I'm stronger now, much stronger than I was before and that I don't depend on him like I used to and that he could take as long as he wants to think things over and that he doesn't even have to have a definite answer.

What I'd like is some what I can do that will give us the best possibility of getting back together and I was wondering if any of you have had ex's and how long (if they did) it took them to think things over.

I gave in and decided to text him a simple "How are you doing?", and he replied about something silly that happened to him in an art activity (he managed to get paint all over his face) and we've been casually joking about it.


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  • This is like the same thing that's happened/happening to me too. My ex and I broke up because he said I was the kind of girl who always needed my boyfriend to be there for me and he couldn't do that and it was getting to be too much and he still cares a lot about me but he can't do this anymore and yadi yadi yadah...we broke up in March and since then things have been casual but nothing more. And then just yesterday we were taking the bus together and when I was leaving he gave me a hug and the he kissed me. So I guess now there is a possibility of getting back together..but still, who knows what's going to happen.

    I guess just from my own experience the best thing to do is to do nothing. Don't try to talk to him all the time, if he wants to talk to you then talk, if not, then don't. Hang out with your girlfriends, go out and have fun. If you're going to be waiting for the guy, at least have some fun while you're at it, no sense in wasting time moping.

    Good luck with everything, keep me updated!

    • How did you survive the break up and when did you stop feeling physically sick from missing him?

    • It was really hard. Especially because he did the EXACT same thing to me a year ago (you think I would've learned).but yea, I was really upset nd physically was sick..I couldn't eat anything and ended up dropping 15 pounds in 2 months. The only thing that helped was to keep myself busy I guess...surround yourself with friends and family and people who you know love you. Have someone who you can talk to when those lonely days took me at least a good month or 2 just to learn to survive w/o him

    • I sent him a text that read "I wish we could hang out.. Or would that be too hard for you?" and he told me "Maybe give me a few days x"

      I've decided to give him a bit of space but remain friendly and kind with him and not send him any emotional texts. It's really hard to get over the fact that the most likely way of getting him back is to not do anything at all..

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