My ex broke up with me almost one year ago. The last year has been an emotional roller coaster.
Our relationship was good. I was completely in love with my ex. I still am unfortunately. I don't know if he has changed, but since I last talked to him, it has not seemed like that it has all that much.
I spent the last year, analyzing, comparing, coming up with ways to get my ex back. I read books. I read everything I could, to figure out what went wrong. I couldn't come up with a solution. I wrote more than 100 posts on this site, some in which responses were helpful, others in which told me to stop wasting my time.
I know my life and his life could have gone ending up on the same path, or separating completely. I just didn't know how to make the decision. I was graduating college, and he lived in Texas. He was stationed there for the coast guard, and grew up there.
During school when I was attending ASU we had started dating my sophomore year. I had met him at home in St. Louis while going home for my sister's and best friend's birthday. We had talked for a little while, and I flew back the next morning incredibly happy. I thought I had met the most amazing guy. I just couldn't believe it. --- but I was happy and although, I wasn't expecting anything to happen, things did. He came to visit me during Christmas, and I couldn't have been more excited to see him.
He was everything that I wanted. He was my best friend. And I know things were not completely perfect. Long distance for two years was hard, but not unbearable. We saw each other at least once a month. I was very happy with him. I loved him.
And then my senior year of college happened. I decided I would graduate early, and he had "thought" that maybe he would get out of the coast guard or stay in. He blamed me for not making a decision sooner, although he had mentioned he would either move to Illinois or we would figure out other plans.
We had fought almost for a month about a solution. We just couldn't seem to find a solution that fixed both of what we wanted. I wanted to be near my family. I hadn't been in two years. I was home sick, but at the last moment, I told him I would move to Texas, and he said no. Things were shaking between us a week before. I had no understanding of the situation. He wasn't being his normal self.
We broke up. He mentioned saying a ton of stuff that didn't make sense to me. This was the guy who promised he would be my best friend till the end. This was the guy who said he would always surprise me when he'd propose and I'd never expect it when it would happen.
He brought up things, that didn't make sense to me, (about how I didn't get along with his friends. ) (He couldn't do what daddy does) ... etc etc... I didn't understand why he was saying all these things that he disliked about me, that didn't come up earlier. I just didn't understand.
He was supposed to come for my birthday that week, and ended up
And then I sent him message, and wrote him, asking him what his status was about, and then he ignored me. It took him weeks to respond. to one question. I basically got nothing out of him.
I’m not asking for anything in return. I just want to know why.
I’ll call you tomorrow.
I’ll call you tomorrow and we can talk.
Hey are we really going to talk or were you just saying that?
We are I’ll call you tonight
Well around what time?
9 or so
Hey if your not at work do you want to skype instead?
I’m not at home I’m in Katy with my parents.
It’s probably going to be later. Something came up.
Well I’ll be out, but I’ll try to answer.
I was going to treat him, just how he treated me in the past.
Ryan: What's up?
Michelle: Nm, how's Dillion and the family? (he usually started asking me how my family was doing so I did the same, formal crap that he played with usually.)
Hey sorry about your grandma…. R you ok?
I just wish I could have been there. The funeral was today and I was the only one not there. I guess it comes with the job being away from the ones you love.
Oh… yeah that must really be rough… that sucks that they didn’t let you fly back.
I couldn’t have even if I tried. It has to be like your parent or sibling for them to let you go. Michelle I miss you. I miss my best friend.
Oh… I’m really sorry about your grandma. I missed you too…. But it just sounded like you didn’t want to be friends anymore. I don’t know what to say.
Neither do I. I want you as a friend but it’s hard to do, let you know I’m in pain, and it kills me knowing that you might be in the slightest pain. I don’t know what to do. Tell me what to do please.
I’m sorry I don’t know what to say. I wish you weren’t in pain. I wish you could be with your family. I wish I had an answer for you, but I don’t. Loosing someone must be extremely hard.
I really am sorry for your loss.
Thanks for the support. You have always been there. It is good to have people support you.
Hey you doin ok?
How’ve you been?
Decent glad to be home. How are you?
I’m pretty good. So what’s new? I feel like I haven’t “really” talked to you in forever.
Ya sorry about that one night.
Oh. Yeah that’s ok…. I guess you were just upset.
But nothing really is new. I live a pretty boring life. Work work work.
Thanks for putting up with my bs.
For what? That one night?
Yeah, and any other night I’ve called you p*ss ass drunk.
Don’t worry about it. I don’t think I’ve gotten any calls really….
What have you been up to?
Not much. I’ve been working a lot too. I usually get a lot tired now that I work. It eats up a lot of the free time I’m used to having.
I totally get it. I’m at work more than I am at my own house.
Yeah. I guess that can kind of suck. I went to Ohio for two days. Still like my house better.
Sounds fun not to one up you or anything, but I just spent the last 5 weeks in South Carolina and between you and me I never want to go back. I’d rather live back in Mississippi than there.
Really what did you not like about it so much?
The people plus I didn’t have my truck and I couldn’t go anywhere, wait that might have been something to do with it.
That could possibly have something to do with it. I hated not having a car.
Yeah I was stuck on base and there was nothing on base except a bat.
Doesn’t sound that entertaining. My brother went there over the summer. I think he kind of seemed to like it though.
I’m sure it’s not that bad, but it was a long 5 weeks, and I was ready to get home and sleep in my own bed. Plus I missed my great grandma’s funeral and Chase’s 1st birthday.
Oh yeah, that really does suck.
So anything else new? You dating anyone?
Nope haven’t since you.
Yeah I haven’t either.
Well it’s been a while since we actually kinda talked. I’m gald we did a little. It’s nice to know your doing well.
Can we video chat sometime? I thought it might not be that big of a deal…. If we are attempting to be friends after all. It’s just a question you can say no if you don’t want to.
Ok guess that is a no. That’s cool just don’t answer. Whatever.
Sorry I’m at work. Yeah that sounds like a good idea. Maybe next week sometime. We can do that I think that would be cool.
Ok I’ll hold you to it then.
Hey ya busy? Wanna video chat?
I work till Wednesday afternoon maybe then or Thursday
Yeah Wednesday would work. Thursday might work…. I just have to work late that night.
It was not cancer, we found out a week or two later after tests. There was soemthing else that was wrong.
Tomorrow is better for me.
Talk to you then.
Hey are you online?
No I’m eating dinner give me thirty minutes or so.
Ok do you have skype or still use aim?
No clue what skype even is.
Oh… OK gotcha….
I send him anothe rfacebook message
I just want you to know that I am fine with being just friends or whatever, and this isn't easy for me, so you're going to have to bare with me. I'm not going to lie when I say this...
Huh. Let's just pretend I never sent that. Thanks a billion. Later.
He said yes
and then rescheduled the next two weeks. and ignored me when the last one came down to it.
August 2010 he says he is still in love with me, and then ignores the crap out of me.
It' s October now. And October 27 is the day we broke up, so cheers to that.
I want him back... That is my goal. I love him, and I want him back in my life.
Any advice besides move on?
Most Helpful Girl
That was intense story, like a book. (im just saying)
1st of all after reading everything, you need to move on.. soon as possible
why spend your energy with someone who gives you the impressions that he doesn t want to be more than friends with you. It is not fair at all to you
The explaintion I feel was not enough. lame...
I see actually what you are coming from, same thing happened to me a few years ago.
I was on that boys tail like no 2morrow. Then something just happened. we were on aim on at the same time, it just hit me - I'm not going to put up with this & he didn't say anything..that was my last straw - I WAS DONE. I put my energy trying to make it better but he just used me.
If he does come back..it is probably be when you are with someone esle.
Then he will truly see what he has lost
You can't make someone love or want to b with you
its just not worth it, imagine- him being happy and you sad all the time.
dont hold on -let go
you have done everything , you tried
hes not responding- or trying to make it work at all1
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