How can I get him back? Help! What and how shall I do it?

I'm not really sure what to do, cause I've never been in this situation before?

The man I was seeing finished with me about 5 months ago, and we were together for 6 months. I can't seem to get over it, I fell for him in one of the deepest ways possible...when you try not to and you don't realize you have until it hits you right in the face!

But because of that, when you just feel nervous around them you start acting differently. Ordinarily I'm a very easy going, un-clingy kinda gal, I'm quite confident in myself, up for a laugh and joke and I have ambition. But I see looking back that after some time, I stopped acting like myself for fear of embarrassing myself or sounding stupid.

Here's the thing...I haven't spoken to him much since, I'm one of these people who put on a brave face to the world, I'm the one who helps my friends with their problems and listens to them. But I don't know how to talk to them about it properly but its not what I tend to do, besides they seem to not want to help and change the subject back to them. So, you can see why I just need some advice from people who will listen? No one ever even saw the pain and that I was sad, the only person that really did was him and maybe my sisters boyfriend who's is a really good friend, so he wouldn't say anything.

As you can imagine I didn't want to breakup but agreed in the end, and said we would be friends.

Ive spoken to him since, and it seemed OK, a bit awkward but OK.

Id like to get back together and give it another try at some point, because the way I was acting when before we broke is not me! All the time I acted myself, he liked me for me, and we had a good time together, I just feel stupid for stopping and being pressured into acting differently by a friend who said, oh you should be doing this….or you should be doing that….you‘ll love him otherwise! I regret that, and don’t intend on listening to her again. I know its not easy, but I'm willing to wait, but what can I do? I don’t see him in person, and if I talk to him its more social networking, fb + stuff. How can I get him back? What and how can I do it? How can I show him who I am again?

Thanks

Updates:
sorry typo - it should have been "you should be doing this….or you should be doing that….you‘ll LOOSE him otherwise!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Look, there can be done several things.

    Chemistry dies out like a fire if you don’t stoke it once in awhile.

    Humans have needs – both emotional and physical. They need to be caressed, held, hugged, kissed, listened to, flirted with, and desired.

    Your relationship routine might have made your ex feel starved for whatever it was they didn’t get anymore – that very stuff that made your stomachs and hearts flutter when you first started dating. If he or she was starving, then chances are you weren’t getting everything out of the pairing that you wanted as well.

    What were you lacking in the relationship? What was missing?

    Most relationships don’t crumble because of one single issue. When one thing comes in between two people, they usually recognize it and work things out amicably – unless it’s a deal breaker like, “he wants kids and I don’t.”

    You might even see the breakup as a result from one of the above issues while your ex would pinpoint something totally different. Maybe you thought it was the fact that you spent no time together, but he thought it was the nagging you did.

    If you want to get your ex back, don’t do these things::

    - Texting your ex will push him away – fast;

    - Calling your ex multiple times a day shows neediness;

    - Telling him to get back with you telegraphs insecurity;

    - Writing letters to try to make him understand how you feel is

    counter-productive;

    -Phoning his parents and try to convince them to talk

    sense into his is a sure way to get ignored;

    -Calling the new girl in his life and telling him to leave him

    alone will instantly turn him against you

    How to get him back?

    Maybe this few tips will help you:

    - Never look desperate – work on your self, you need to shine if you want to attract him back

    - Start seeing other guys. That will wake uh her curiosity and insecurity (is possible that he has already move on!?)

    - Go out together, do stuff together, but don’t ask him to get back, just have great time together, let he see how good it was in relationship

    Hope this help. For some more advanced tips, check out link , it may be useful...

    All the best and good luck!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You're going to have to get brave and tell him exactly what you just told us here and then ask him if he would be willing to start hanging out with you again just to see if you two can get any spark back. Be prepared to accept whatever answer he gives as the final answer though. If he says no then you're going to have to get over him for your own good.

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    • Thanks for your comment :-) I would do that if I was on proper talking terms, but won't it push him further if I just blurt that out, we've only spoken once really recently? Id feel more comfortable/confident saying that if I was on proper terms with him, I ended up looking a bit clingy/odd before and I really don't want that to happen again! :-( Id love to just hang out like you say, and see how it pans out but I'm not sure how to get it started? We don't have good friends in common.

    • Show All
    • I see your point actually, if I never do anything about it, nothing will happen. You make a lot of sense! :-) thanks for the advice, the quote helps a lot too, just play it cool at the same time as asking, like I'm not too bothered? Being a guy, do you have any tips in catching his eye or gaining his interest again? thanks for your help :-)

    • Just talk about the stuff you have in common. Maybe try to bring up old memories of funny things that happened to both of you when you used to be together so he can remember some of the good times he had with you. That might get him to associate you with good feelings again.

      Don't try too hard though just be yourself.

      Good luck : )

What Girls Said 1

  • The best thing to do is to tell him exactly what you have just said, ask if you can hang out with each other for a while and see what happens - if he says no, then it's no and that's the end of it, there is not much that you can do. I also suggest talking to the friend and mentioning that you don't want any more of there advice because you want to try and be yourself in the relationship, even if it means you mess things up. It's better that they know otherwise they might think you simply are not listening and may see it as rather rude - just explain that you want to try things on your own.

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    • Thanks for your comment, I will do with the friend thing most definately! I'm glad someone else agrees with that. Id love to start hanging out again and stuff, but before saying any of these things wouldn't it be better to be on proper talking terms first? I've only spoken once and it literally could look like I'm trying to be clingy. I think your right about telling him, but maybe once I'm back on actual terms, any ideas on that please? hugz

    • Talk about stuff you have in common and what ever you talk about with your friends - I think that waiting until you are back on talking terms is a good idea, otherwise as you said, you could appear clingy - wait a couple of months and see where it takes you. no talking to him is going to get you no where

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