Sharing Mutual Friends?

I'm curious to know how everyone dealt with the awkwardness that IS having mutual friends after a breakup. I know I struggle with resentment because in the end my ex was a jerk to me and is still not very agreeable to be around. It's difficult to see him how I saw him post-breakup (obviously). I know that our friends see him as the same friend as before-he changed to me, not them. Of course no one really thought he handled the break up very well, but that isn't going to stop them from staying friends-and I know it shouldn't.

I bottom line is I have had a much different experience with this person than our friends have and I can't expect them to understand that I don't see him the same way nor do I care to engage socially with him

How did you navigate these waters in your breakup where mutual friends were involved? I will never ask anyone to take sides or give ultimatums as I think they show an incredible sense of insecurity (Unless there was real abuse, or other harmful factors)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well I had a similar situation and to be honest it has definitely caused me to see those mutual friends less. (I am like you I would never ask anyone to choose.) So yeah I mean I see those friends still but I see them less. Sometimes if its like a bar situation I will see those friends with him and I will talk to them but not my ex. Its certainly not the most ideal situation, I know that for sure. Especially if they are really good friends. But you just have to deal with not always being invited to things if it's like at that ex's place, but they aren't always invited either. So it's not an ideal situation by any means but one you learn to deal with. I also started hanging out with other friends more often too, just because my mutual friends with my ex reminded me of him.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Well, there's not much you can do. In time things will get easier once you both start seeing other people.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It'll get easier eventually. I have been in this position with every guy I've ever dated.

    It's really awkward for your friends too, as they don't want to take sides and they don't want to fall out with either of you. If you just learn to deal with it, it will get easier.

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