Should I let him or just keep my son to myself?

Okay so my son is a little less then three months away from being born. The father just started talking to me again when he got an e-mail saying that I was having a boy. Then last night he told me that he wants to take my son away from me on the weekends. I don't really want to do that because the father is getting married to someone I don't know and I don't want someone I don't know touching my son. Then I don't really want to let him take my son because he's made me go threw the entire pregnancy alone. Like he left me 1 week after we had sex. So I've been getting a ride from my Aunt to my appointments. That I've been going into by myself and he just expects me to let him take my son away from me for two days a week. Just because I'm having a boy. I have a feeling that if it were a girl he wouldn't bother with me, and he wouldn't want to take her. I don't want to let him take me kid but I don't know what to do... Please HELP ME! This is my first kid and he already has one and his fiance is expecting.

Updates:
Well It's to late for all of that now. The father is bringing me to court for custody of my son. The only case I have is that the father hasn't been involved. I'm just now getting a place to live. I left my closest friends for this baby. I might lose him.
I've been trying to stay positive. But the father isn't the only drama I have in my life right now. There's stuff going on at school too. Being called a whore, ****, and slut everyday I can deal with. But having people telling me to die isn't easy at all.
I'm due like any day now. I haven't heard from the baby's father so I'm kinda hoping that he's given up. I'm just trying so stay strong and keep a clear mind. I don't want his father to just jump back into my our lives and possibly hurt us both.
I Had the baby 3 months ago and I was told that his father wants nothing to do with him. I'm going to ask the state to get that in writing so when my son is older his father can all of a sudden say he wants to be involved and then just take my son wheneve

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Most Helpful Guy

  • From what I'm hearing, how he's treated you through this hole thing is a joke and I admire your strenght...but there's always two sides to every story so I won't get too into that.

    But what you need to realize is that he is the childs father, regardless of the situation, and you would be doing your child the biggest injustice if you let your feelings get in the way of him having a father.

    Granted he needs to earn your respect and trust first and suggest...infact I STRESS he shows his presence financially before anything else. I wouldn't condone you letting him take BOTH your child away to his on the weekend until at least 2months, on top of that he should make the effort to see his son on a timetabled schedule WITHOUT FAIL!...he lost the right to dictate his sons life when he failed to be there...now he has to earn it back from the 1 person that was living it 24/7.

    If he doesn't want to comply, then he obviously doesn't care enough for his son.

    Be strong love, you can do this...the next 5 months are probably going to be the hardest in your life but be strong, ull make it out the other side a wiser and more mature version of yourself now, with a bag full of precious memorable momments.

    BUT BE STRONG!...not just for yourself but for your child, send the father a clear message that you want your child to be raised properly and you want reliable people around, and he won't get that message unless you believe it yourself.

    And don't worry, a childs bond to his mother is probably the strongest bond on earth...many people out there have had rich an fulfilling lives, but still go on the hunt to find their biological parents, parents make their child who they are, you give them the tools to make it in this world, so give them the right tools and love and you'll have nothing to worry about!

    But I beg you babe, I know how angry you are about the hole baby father situation, but for your childs sake, let that go...your a mother now, and that comes with the ultimate sence of purpose on this planet and your child will be an expression of who you are. Don't hate anymore. because if you do, your child will adopt your traits wether that's towards men or people in general. Your a role model now.

    Hope I helped. :)

    From a friend,

    Doctor Sex

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • NOT RIGHT AWAY UNLESS YOU CAN SEE SOME TRUST AND CHANGE THEN YES BUT OTHER THEN THAT NO

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What Girls Said 2

  • That is really horrendous! how dare him take your son for 2 days! Now that he has a son he just acts as if he never left you alone! Be strong! Make him do the effort. If he wants, he should visit your son in your home. You are the one who undergone through all these emotional and physiological pains. Make him realize how hard it was for you to conceive without a partner and he didn't even support you financially. However, don't restrict him because when your child grows up, he'll be looking for the love of his father. At least for now, make him visit the baby in your home. I might be being one sided but I really hate irresponsible guys.

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  • You may not have a choice. There are custody laws that saw he has rights whether or not he deserves them. You may want to try talking to someone who has some knowledge on it. You Dr might be able to refer to someone or just look it up online.

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    • The doctor has alredy given advice ;)

    • He has no rights what so ever... There are absolutely no documents stating that he is the father of this baby. He is yet to see my son and My son in now 9 months old

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