Okay so my son is a little less then three months away from being born. The father just started talking to me again when he got an e-mail saying that I was having a boy. Then last night he told me that he wants to take my son away from me on the weekends. I don't really want to do that because the father is getting married to someone I don't know and I don't want someone I don't know touching my son. Then I don't really want to let him take my son because he's made me go threw the entire pregnancy alone. Like he left me 1 week after we had sex. So I've been getting a ride from my Aunt to my appointments. That I've been going into by myself and he just expects me to let him take my son away from me for two days a week. Just because I'm having a boy. I have a feeling that if it were a girl he wouldn't bother with me, and he wouldn't want to take her. I don't want to let him take me kid but I don't know what to do... Please HELP ME! This is my first kid and he already has one and his fiance is expecting.
Most Helpful Guy
From what I'm hearing, how he's treated you through this hole thing is a joke and I admire your strenght...but there's always two sides to every story so I won't get too into that.
But what you need to realize is that he is the childs father, regardless of the situation, and you would be doing your child the biggest injustice if you let your feelings get in the way of him having a father.
Granted he needs to earn your respect and trust first and suggest...infact I STRESS he shows his presence financially before anything else. I wouldn't condone you letting him take BOTH your child away to his on the weekend until at least 2months, on top of that he should make the effort to see his son on a timetabled schedule WITHOUT FAIL!...he lost the right to dictate his sons life when he failed to be there...now he has to earn it back from the 1 person that was living it 24/7.
If he doesn't want to comply, then he obviously doesn't care enough for his son.
Be strong love, you can do this...the next 5 months are probably going to be the hardest in your life but be strong, ull make it out the other side a wiser and more mature version of yourself now, with a bag full of precious memorable momments.
BUT BE STRONG!...not just for yourself but for your child, send the father a clear message that you want your child to be raised properly and you want reliable people around, and he won't get that message unless you believe it yourself.
And don't worry, a childs bond to his mother is probably the strongest bond on earth...many people out there have had rich an fulfilling lives, but still go on the hunt to find their biological parents, parents make their child who they are, you give them the tools to make it in this world, so give them the right tools and love and you'll have nothing to worry about!
But I beg you babe, I know how angry you are about the hole baby father situation, but for your childs sake, let that go...your a mother now, and that comes with the ultimate sence of purpose on this planet and your child will be an expression of who you are. Don't hate anymore. because if you do, your child will adopt your traits wether that's towards men or people in general. Your a role model now.
Hope I helped. :)
From a friend,