If you can't trust the person you love?

I met my ex five years ago. We have an electric connection, I'm deeply in love with him, and I have always been drawn back to him, year after year. He's very special to my heart and makes me feel things nobody can - our passion is insane and we are crazy about each other, but when I met him he was 21, a drug addict and alcoholic, and obviously has very clear issues. We broke up multiple times due to mistrust and cheating incidents in the first few years. Since it's been five years and we are still in contact, he has grown up, stopped drinking and using substances, and is trying to truly improve his life and I am proud of him because he really IS growing up - but becuase of some sick shit he's done in the past and my mistrust, every time we talk it is unhealthy for me becuase I can't trust a word he says. A month ago (right when we reconnected again) he got drunk and was screenshotting slutty girls topless snapchat stories (so how can i trust him?)

Like I said, I know he is bad for me but he has plenty of amazing qualities, combined with chemistry and a connection that I cherish. We have grown much closer over the years of knowing each other, and while I tell him i am in love with him I don't know how to truly be happy, EVER, becuase I can't trust a single word that comes out of his mouth. Is it best to just move on? Is there any way to ever keep him in my life without ruining my mental health? I'm in an adult place now and I want to grow into the woman I can be without anyone getting in my way - but I also struggle letting go of someone I love so deeply and never wanted to let go.
If you can't trust the person you love?
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