Nothing is horribly wrong with my relationship with my girlfriend. We've been going out for over 4 years, and we go to the same university now. Over the past year or so she has seemed less happy and outgoing. I've gone through a whole thing with trying to get her back to her happy-go-lucky self but it's just not working. Now it's just not as fun as it used to be, and everything seems so routine and planned.
Not that anything is wrong with us, we love each other and get along all the time for the most part. The problem is that she isn't all that fun to be around anymore...just tolerable. Sometimes it's fantastic, but not always. The reason I think maybe it's not good for me anymore is because now more and more seems to bother her and upset her, and she just becomes so much less fun to be around. When this happens, I find myself wanting to be around other girls, a lot. Then I find myself being physically attracted to girls I normally felt nothing for. It's like I feel as though I'm single.
Is it unfair to me, or her, or both of us at this point? I feel bad but I can't control my feelings, I love my girlfriend a lot and I love being around her, but now other girls are just that much more fun to be around. It's a frustrating situation.
Most Helpful Girl
If the fire's out babyyyyy, then how you gonna keep me warm
I think it's a tough call. There are bumps in the road for every relationship. There will be periods of time where you feel like something's missing, but that's when it becomes both of your choice to either say "Okay I quit" or try to rekindle that spark and excitement.
I spent two years with a guy, and after the first year I started to realize he didn't make me feel the same way. He didn't want to leave the house, didn't want to do anything other than work and sit at home. I stuck it out for another six months and tried to see if it would get better, when it didn't work I took the bitch way out and started cheating. It was wrong and there's no excuse but my reasoning was that I was really afraid of losing that comfort and security of our boring old relationship, while also very much yearning for the excitement that I remembered. So straight into someone else's arms I went. I felt terrible, finally ended up breaking up with him and trying to be friends. Lovers to friends is a hard task though and so far it's not going so well.
What I'm trying to say is if you truly love her then explain to her how you feel and tell her you gotta both work your asses off to reconnect, or call it quits. Don't let it get to that point where you end up cheating out of weakness and desperation for something new and fun.1
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