Why is he like this?

My ex husband and I was together for 15 years. We started dating in high school our sophomore year. Our senior year I became pregnant with our 1st son. Up till that point we was best friends. We went fishing together, rode fourwheelers and dirtbikes, we was inseparable. He was my first everything. My first real kiss, first and only man I had been involved sexually with, he was my best friend. The day I told him we was having a baby was the first argument we had, and it wasn't over the baby, it was over him not wanting me to do something, which I told him I wouldn't. He continued the argument till I was crying so bad I got sick. The verbal got worse over the pregnancy, and I seen less and less of him. After our son was born he became physical with me. Raping me, hurting me physically. Then I got pregnant with our youngest son. The physical abuse stopped, but the verbal never ended. It was worse. After our youngest was born the physical began again. For 7 years he abused me and I stayed. I don't know why, I guess I was scared, I didn't want to be alone. I really can't understand myself. The physical abuse finally stopped, but the verbal never. He had an affair on me and asked for me and our kids to leave our home, which I gladly done so. He is still very verbal toward me when he has the chance, but not towards his girlfriend's he has. What triggered his abuse? Was it something I done, or didn't do? Why is it still me and not the ones he is with?
Why is he like this?
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