Boyfriend moved away, we broke up, but he plans on coming back for me?

I still love him, and he still loves me. After he graduates high school, he plans on moving back and going to college here and be with me again.

He moved away 4 months ago, but I've only known of this plan of his for the last month. Up until now, I thought he didn't care about me, and I thought we would never see each other again, let alone be together again. So I started to detach from him. We never talked, so it was easy. I was over him.

Then, I find out how he really feels, and I realize "wow...I still love him too". Ever since I found out about his plan to come back to me, I've become attached to him again. I'm emotionally connected to him again. And that scares me. That means I'm at risk at being hurt again. A lot can change in the next 11 months, and even though I love him, I don't want to be attached to him. Not now, anyways. If something happens and he changes his mind, I want to be emotionally prepared. He has no obligation to me and I have no obligation to him. But I feel like we do, and I want to get rid of that.

He talks to me everyday, which makes it harder. I want to talk to him, I love talking to him. But should I? The two months after he moved, we didn't talk at all. Then, we started talking. We actually became friends again and I felt no attachment. Then I found out his feelings, and I became attached. I want to get back to the way it was before, when we were friends and that was it, no obligation, no attachment. Just two friends.

I feel like I need a break from talking to him or something...like I need to tell him to stop talking to me until I get over this. That's what helped me before, so it should help me again, right?

I feel like I need to do something. I just don't know what the best thing to do is. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.


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What Guys Said 2

  • You love him, so why don't you want to talk to him? If all you do is try to keep from getting hurt, you'll live a lonely, miserable life.

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    • I know, I do want to talk to him. But we're not a couple right now, and won't be until he moves back next year, if he still decides to do so. But my problem is that I don't want to be so attached to him that when I find out he's with someone else, my whole world comes crashing down again. I need some emotional distance between us, but it's hard when he talks to me everyday and is always so sweet. If we stop talking so I can clear my head, when we do talk again, maybe I'll be strong enough.

  • LDR are hard to maintain, if you want to move on and see other people do that. Maybe you will be together or maybe you wont, he has lots of opportunity to see other people and have fun. He could be keeping you on the back burner and come back to you later

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