It’s confusing though because, he was doing those same things while we were dating. And he went out and cheated on me. He was sexting/flirting with another girl. And he was messaging other girls sending them compliments/flirting. So, maybe it’s just who he is. It really messed up my self esteem and made me feel jealous.
Agh, well, you left out that part. I was assuming it was a new behavior that started after the break up. If he did it during the relationship, it still may be true that he, all along, just really wants and needs to feel desired by women, and makes him feel more and more confident, in his attractiveness, and it’s just part of what he desires, where he is at in his life. That will definitely be part of it, but cheating, and the inconsideration fo you, and your feelings, his problem, which you made your problem is he is a narcissist, and selfish, so you aren’t going to get much but aguish and disappointment from him, as he is #1 always.Was he the type of person who was either hot or cold, like two versions, charming and expressive to you, or blaming you for things, and upset, and can’t take criticism. If that sounds familiar, he is a narcissist
Yes! That sounds like him. In the beginning he gave me a lot of attention too , showed much interest. Then as time went on, i felt he didn’t like me as much. I felt in competition with other girls online, he was always giving them attention and not me :/Then he would be very kind to my friends, try and impress them and win them over, then to me he just had this attitude that made me feel small, or less important. And yes. Whenever I’d try and communicate something he did that bothered me, he’d explode and take it to heart and be over dramatic about it all. While dating him, I sometimes felt he was a narcissist, or at least, had some of the tendencies to be one. :/
It’s a big problem and in the field of psychology it’s being considered an epidemic right now, more and more, higher and higher percentage of the population are narcissist, meaning it’s actually negatively affecting them like a disease. Being in a relationship with one will easily chip away at your self security and confidence because they are always #1, and you, or his next girlfriend, will always be valued on whether the girlfriend is valuable to him, or a liability and threaten him, by not realizing how he feels and his wants, are the only thing that matters, so if you start suggesting you needs are different, and it’s in direct conflict with his needs, well, you aren’t going to work, you, in that situation, need to be yelled at, blamed for this and that, made to feel bad, as he is number 1, and it’s the only world he knows
Not sure if that is how it is, but it’s a good idea to recognize and spot one, and not get involved, because the truth is, unlike many guys, they usually are more charming, very open how they feel, and can share easily how they feel to you, and in the beginning, you can see how girls would love that
It is his fault the relationship ended. He cheated on me. I asked him if he wanted to fix it, he told me “it’s best we go out separate ways. I don’t deserve you anymore”
That reaffirms my first claim that he wanted to act that way the whole time. However, that doesn't mean that he isn't having a lot of negative emotions just because he was the one to end it. Break ups are hard even if they are voluntary.
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Mmm. But, he was the one who cheated on me, and then chose to run away. I also told him i didn’t want to end on good terms, or be friends.
People who cheat are fearful and insecure, I am sorry he did that... plus, it is really hard being a guy, especially young, cause you are being led by your sex organ all the time and not your heart. I apologize for him, as another male.
Well it’s his fault it’s over. I found out he was cheating.
That doesn't mean he isn't torn up over it.
How not? If he cheated, he knew what he was getting himself into. He didn’t value me enough to preserve the sanctity of our relationship. He wanted more attention from tons of women, even though i gave him all of my attention and love. How could he be torn up over it if HE cheated AND decided to end it?
Everybody fucks up and rarely do people know what they're getting themselves into. Emotions work in mysterious ways and often don't make sense.Maybe something about your relationship made him unhappy or insecure, maybe he's letting out frustration over something, maybe he's just a dick. I'm not saying to feel bad for him or anything, I'm just answering your question. If he can't stay faithful, he's not worth keeping around.
He did many things to frustrate me and make ME feel insecure. Not the other way around. He didn’t give me the proper attention a girlfriend should get. He was always giving it to other girls online (even in the early stages when we got together).
I'm sure he did, but that doesn't mean he didn't feel frustrated or insecure.Maybe he was annoyed at your apparent inability to look beyond your own feelings, considering your question was about his motivations and reasoning for what he does, but no matter what I answer, you make it about your feelings in stead.You're not interested in why he's doing anything, you just want people to tell you you didn't do anything wrong, that he's an asshole and never deserved anyone as wonderful as you.That's what this is about... Sympathy.
Not really? He made me feel extremely insecure with his actions. And i expressed it to him. He didn’t care about my feelings either because he continued to do what he did. I communicated with him a lot. He never communicated his insecurities with me. No. This isn’t about sympathy. This is literally about a jerk who always wanted to inflate his ego at my expense. He did not care about how he made me feel insecure. And i always made sure to hit engage in something that would make him feel insecure. And if i ever did, then i can’t really force him to admit that.
I agree with Chris. I think you're missing the point of what he said. Seems like you're looking for validation. Talking about your feelings but never his. He's probably an ass from what you're saying but I doubt it's clean on your side also
I didn’t do anything to hurt him? I didn’t flirt with other guys, show interest in them, i was 100% transparent with my ex. Let him use my phone, hold my phone when we went to parties, offered to give him my passwords, etc. i told him if a guy came up to me/friends were interested in me. He didn’t care about my feelings and how his actions made me feel insecure and he didn’t do anything to help me feel more secure with him.
I never said i was perfect, or my hands were clean. But, i did my best to show transparency and that i cared and i tried to communicate. He never communicated.
Don’t come here trying to defend his side lol. When i was a good girlfriend, and all my friends and everyone on the outside saw that. Random people would come up to me and be like “he doesn’t really treat you like a gf”. Why i stayed. I don't know, love makes you blind
I didn’t dump him. He dumped me, also, he cheated. But, i wouldn’t give him my forgiveness and basically rejected his offer to be friends or end on good terms .
He may have felt held back by the relationship and wanted to have more fun with women then
It hurts me. It’s like me and the relationship meant nothing. Every time we would fight (after the break up) he would post something for attention
You clearly meant nothing lol
To him that's obvious
No, Not me.
Your question has a very wide spectrum
I am only interested in why males do this... i never said ONLY males do this.
Same thing girls do it I guess