Moving on from your FIRST LOVE. Help Please?

Hello all, thank you for your time and responses. I will try my best to make this long story short.

An ex-girlfriend of mine and I have been "on again, off again" for the past two years or so. Both times we have split up was a result of her wanting to not be tied down and preferring the single life. After all, she is a very attractive, approachable early 20's female, so who can blame her for wanting to have her fun? As time would have it, I would get word from some of our mutual friends that she would be seen and heard flirting with other guys that she would grow seriously interested in. I have tried everything I can to show her how much I love her but obviously it (or I) has not been enough.

Despite everything that has happened (and I have had EVERY reason to hate her since she has left me TWICE and as of recently, possibly gave me an STD, but I don't since we have known each other for a long time) she has decided to not burn her bridges with me. She still keeps in touch with me to see how I'm doing and is seemingly showing an interest to stay informed with how my life is going. Now, I am sure that she does that with every guy so I don't credit that too much. But here is where it gets tricky for me.

We have the same major and similar career goals. I have frequently thought about moving somewhere that is helpful to my career (mass media so new york, Chicago, etc.). I recently heard the she is moving to ny permanently in less than a year. I know that MY plans shouldn't be affected by this but I can't stop thinking of how much I will miss her if my plans don't work and how this implicates us seeing each other once again one day. I hate that I feel so strongly for someone who has hurt me. But this is one of those cases where its not some girl I met, I was close with her before we dated and we fell in love with each other and have had many ups and downs and growing pains with each other. Can anyone help me please?


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What Girls Said 1

  • it is completely understandable that you fell that way and I think we can all agree that forgetting is a very hard thing to do. But as hard as it is you have to try and forget, try keeping your distance, however don't let her plans influence yours or prevent you from doing what you want to do. For me the only way to forget about someone is to find something else to think about, either some activity or just find someone else. I know its hard but you need to focus on finding someone ese who will treat you right

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    • Thank you. I have actually met someone else since our most recent break up. This girl is attractive herself, and is the "long term" type and likes me very much. I don't want to sound cocky or egotistical at all, but I think if I wanted a relationship RIGHT NOW, I could probably have success with that with this new girl. Problem is, I met her very soon after the break up so my feelings were still elsewhere. I think I have to focus on my career for now and "let love happen"

What Guys Said 1

  • Alls I can to say to that is mate that you defo have some big issue on you then, life is for living and flying to the best of your ability! going to let go will be so hard- I'm FULLY aware, did you show your love while in therelationship's full flow? the climax. did you text her to let her know how you feel, cause my sister had a similar prob over a year ago, it was because she broke up that he used a website like this and she knew it was him, his 'side of the story' must have made him blind to actually WHY she broke up with him, for girls I know after hearing my sis brag on for most of my life! she has a very frequent tendency to use that excuse to poor guys and souls 2, so...? think on, k? ;) no probs. maybe what you thought and saw was much much different. have you ever heard the phrase- "you must have been looking- but you clearly didn't see". I feel that 'philosophy may've something to do with your issue'. ;)

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