I really appreciate that response. Thank you
You're welcome x May I ask why you posted the question?
Because I am in a three year relationship with someone who repeatedly cheats on me. I gave birth three months ago with my first child and I literally feel like in losing my mind trying to understand what I did to deserve any of this. I am extremely bitter and just full of nothing but pure hatred and disgust towards everyone and everything. He stopped meeting with the girls from tinder and pof but never stopped actually talking to them on the dating site. It has affected my ability to bond properly with my child. I feel like I'm going insane. I gotta be that girl who is constantly thinking that when he's not with me, he's with someone else. I've contemplated suicide and have really bad post partum depression, about to go back to work tomorrow, in the process of moving, new baby, worried about what this sack of shits next move will be.. it's too much and I'm going to snap and really go off the deep end.
Just want some clarity on a cheaters perspective
First things first have a talk to him and lay it all on the table: He needs to know that as a mother there's no way you can look after the baby without looking after yourself 1st - Your mental health's at stake here!I'm hoping that other than GaG you've friends/family/colleagues that can provide the support you're in desperate need of.Until you have that talk you won't know what your next step will be. Good luck, stay strong and don't ever fall out of love with the one person that's going to get you through this... You x
Thank you for MHO x :-)Hope you've had chance to have that talk and know where you're now heading in life.Feel free to post a reply/another question and I'm sure the other members of GAG including myself will try and help you as best as we can!Stay strong little one x
That’s major cheating 😠
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im guessing im in there somewhere lol
What did they do to deserve it?
@anon_anon_anon because cheating almost never starts with the sex act... I've been trying to convince shallow minded morons about that. it ENDS with the sex act.i think i said that in 90-95% of cheating acts, the moron crying victim, is probably the one that started the cheating process. so i don't have sympathy for them. let me give you a scenario...
Something about my morals keeps me from cheating back on a cheater. I wish I could cheat back.
@anon_anon_anon lets say you have a girlfriend. You spent time trying to get her and she eventually agreed... then she wants to do stuff with you and you keep ignoring her, or she wants to talk and you just shun her, and then she has to do stuff with other people and talk to other people...then eventually she ends up banging one of those people... and then you start bitching to me (supposedly) and crying victim.. and i have to remind you how you ignored her and she had to go elsewhere to get satisfied. You cheated first... you broke your relationship contract and when she broke hers... you think she cheated. No... she reacted. So yea... i don't believe in that cheating shit. its avoidable. just make a sacrifice./sacrifices..
@Muhfucah if you got cheated on darling, its highly likely that you started it. and if you cheat back... its redundant. all you can do is just learn from it.
That was really confusing the way you worded that. But saying if someone who got cheated on did something to deserve it is just pathetic. Of course, people always have their reasoning for doing things. But the cheater should have been mature enough to talk to the person or leave the relationship before cheating
@anon_anon_anon very Very true... and in those 90-95% the so-called cheater, usually tries to let their partner know that their feelings/wants are being IGNORED... leaving them no choice but to seek solace elsewhere. Don't get me wrong, there are some cunts that just cheat out of greed... and opportunity... those are the 5-10% i left out and i am not a fan of them... and i am in no way condoning cheating.. im just looking at the root of how it happens...
You're absolutely condoning cheating. You just said "so-called cheater".If you're unhappy in a relationship, discuss it with them. Sit down with them and talk about it. If they still make you unhappy, leave. It's a toxic relationship in way. Cheating is never justified.And I disagree with your percentages. Obviously, there are no real numbers but I'd wager much higher percentages for people who cheat for less than forgivable reasons.
The way you address Muhfucah was incredibly arrogant and condescending
@tdieseler I have never cheated actually
What did I "likely" start? I did something to deserve it is what you're saying?
@anon_anon_anon Thank you for pulling apart my notion... gives me something to think about... i like that. thanks. but don't be a white knight...I told her what i Think she may be missing. you missed my scenario story... most of the time, the REAL cheaters barely know they are doing it...I mean... every action has a reaction right? You are right, my percentages are off... it was actually higher. but i don't know everything. i just know what I've heard/seen/done. back to reactions... if someone has to go somewhere else... then ask yourself what you did wrong that chased them away. @Muhfucah said she never cheated... but why did she get cheated on? maybe she was one of those people that didn't listen when they were told?Now to go neutral... some people are not very good at just being direct and letting their partner know they feel neglected... I've noticed that. so i don't know... this is not written in stone.. so all you do is handle your end. doesn't seem like she handled hers.
I'm not being a white knight. You're being an arrogant asshole and I'm calling you out on it.I agree that sometimes, people may be pushed to cheating. But that does NOT mean their actions are justified. They should either really get their partners attention or leave the relationship.You've said you've cheated tons of times. No one started it. You're just an immature fuckboy who's not man enough to get to the root of the problem. Things go awry with one woman and you just bail and find another. Grow up.And as you said, the person is unaware of what effect theirs actions are having, so MAKE understand instead of being a selfish cunt
Cheating is emotional abuse and literally makes the partner who loves the cheater go crazy. It takes years to recover from being cheated on someone you truly loved.
@anon_anon_anon... and its people like you that make people cheat. "I agree that sometimes, people may be pushed to cheating. But that does NOT mean their actions are justified"the way i see that.. that is that "turn the other cheek" or "lay down and take it" mentality. someone gets hurt... but they shouldn't lash out... be it self-defense or whatever. Yea... that is the mentality of the ACTUAL cheater.you know what... how about this... how about i write a contract with you selling you something... I take your money and don't fucking deliver the shit... how about you turn the other cheek then... I am so close to calling you a moron, but i believe you can be saved... i will at least try to explain my side first... then when you can't comprehend it... lol..but we are debating... u are making good points (stop the name calling or i'll decimate you)... and i can respect that.
@Muhfucah not really, its all a mindset thing. But i do admit it takes a while to get over it. Im heartless and when i got hit by Karma for all the girls i hurt... it was 6-8 months for me to get over it. so i get it. but i also get what i did wrong from the get go.
I never said turn the other cheek. I said grow up and get to the root of the problem. Actually work on the problem instead of selfishly throwing it all away. How the hell can you say "I'm heartless" and admit to hurting multiple women, and then call me out for telling you your opinions on cheating are bullshit?You're one insufferable bastard.
@anon_anon_anon i think that is a general consensus... i do not blame you. i just wonder if you actually are at the root... or THINK you are at the root.and yes... i AM insufferable and i Know i make myself that way. so i can weed out the Riff-Raff. only those who understand are allowed. and if you don't... ain't on me darling.
I don't really understand what you're trying to say but let me explain one more time and if you don't understand, we'll just end it here.If you feel pushed away enough to the point of finding satisfaction from another women, then get to the root of the problem. Discuss it with your girlfriend. Explain to her you feel neglected or unsatisfied. Work together to improve the relationship. Make her undersyand how you feel. This isn't turning the other cheeck. It's actively seeking a solution. If you're still unhappy, leave the relationship. Cheating should never come in to the equation unless you're too lazy to work on the relationship or really just don't care about it at all.You've said you've hurt many women before and have had guilt over. Then in the future, think about their happiness aside from just you're own. Instead of doing something to hurt them (however justified you think it is), have a mature conversation with them to really work on things.
@anon_anon_anon hahahahahah... you speak like a mature person.. now let me counter what you just said...You can be as mature as you want... but try speaking to a toddler... what happens in that equation? you are giving out the right shit.. right? but how are they receiving it? When was the last time you tried to let a woman know how you felt? how was that received? you think its easy to talk to them and let them know how you feel?Let me guess, "im fucking around with the wrong women"... sad part... the understanding ones are hard to find.so again... we are back to people doing shit and not knowing they are doing it.Now, you say "you can just leave"... but is it really that easy? 6 years, 2 kids... you would just up and walk? you don't even have to have kids... sometimes its just the situation. Cheating is just something people made up to justify their selfishness... so justifying cheating is moot. Just blame the idiot that got caught.
You really are an incompetent piece of trash. It's no wonder some many of your relationships have failed.
@anon_anon_anon ".. some many""? my relationships "failed" because i wasn't ready. i wanted to see what else was out there. but apparently you are a desperate fuck... im not. i CAN get other girls if i want to... so what? you want to blame for trying to choose? go fuck yourself.hahahaha... incompetent.. oh im sorry... i should follow dating rules.. rules made by women... and i should be stupid enough to follow them. well you do that... good luck with the divorce. I will be a man over here... and keep my relationship when i want to... but hey.. have fun
Whore (For the record, a male who cheats for the same reason as you is also a whore)
@anon_anon_anon the first time I actually agree don’t ever cheat because he’s not pleasing you dump him save him the trust issues and plus TALK god damn I’m tired of these bullshit excuses about not being pleased like voice your problems don’t take the easy way out
I'm not using it as an excuse, I know it's wrong. I was just stating why I did. It was after the fact of me talking to him and trying so many different things. I even told him I was unhappy with our sex life and still nothing changed. I know I shouldn't have cheated but I did and that is why.
I mean it’s not cheating if your not together
@Confidenceoverload thats true, lol but we were dating each other
I mean if there’s no communication there is no relationship 😂
@Confidenceoverload lol true lol I guess I have nothing to feel bad about other than being bad at communicating it sooner
How do you not consider cheating on somebody not cheating?
It's only cheating if I care about them in the first place. Which I don't.
You are an asshole and the definition of what's wrong with guys today.
@Rainlovella That's not very nice of you.
He told me that he regretted cheating but didn't regret ending the relationship with me
That must fucking suck I’m sorry you keep finding dick bag boyfriends 😔