Each time the guy I'm dating and I have a great weekend or a couple of consecutive days together, he tends to then go into a complete hibernation. Just when I think we're about to start moving into "swing by tonight?" I get nothing for a couple days with a follow up phone call..."work stuff, need some time to think some things through in my head" OK, go ahead...I make plans with the girls, and then boom, my phone will blow up Friday AND/or Saturday night, "where you at?" "who are you with?" "what are you doing?" "did you eat yet?" "ok, what about tomorrow?"
If you're backing me off, then back me off?!?!?!?!
Does he get scared once he's accomplished his task?
Now while I don't want a man who needs constant attention, I do like to plan SOMETHING this weekend.
I'm not comfortable with sitting around waiting to see if he's going to want to do something and then, should I really make myself that available to him? But half of me wants to because even if I'm out with the girls...in the back of my mind, knowing I could've been out with HIM is killing me...lol
Don't know if this is really a question but I'm open to any advice...ladies too! And thanks in advance, all of my wonderful GAG peeps! :D
Most Helpful Guy
This could have to do with attachment issues. See, some people fear both extremes of attachment - abandonment and engulfment. They fear being alone so they get closer to you. But then they fear being too close, so they back off. Some people fear one or the other more. But others fear both and go back and forth like a pendulum. It's possible that this is why this guy keeps going back and forth.
If that's the case, it can be frustrating. There are some tricks you can try in that situation. But you have to ask yourself if you really want to keep playing those games. If not, then you might want to talk to him about it directly. Explain that you understand he might be uncomfortable with either extreme and that's fine, but you'd rather he talk to you about it openly than keep going back and forth. Maybe you can help him become more aware of his fears and overcome them, but only if he's willing.1