My boyfriend thinks I'm cheating and is completely paranoid how do I deal with it?

me and my boyfriend have recently got together we've been together officially three weeks and dated three weeks before that.

Trouble is he thinks I'm cheating on him when I'm not.

He consistently starts arguments when there's no need to. If I'm on a night out and don't text him back I receive aggressive texts telling me I can shag who I like and to f off.

He's recently told me he thinks I'm cheating even tho I'm not. It doesn't seem to matter what I say he won't listen.

To make it worse he hasn't spent any time with me recently and the effort he puts in is minimal. What's worse is two weeks ago the relationship was great we spent time together and we are always happy when we do...but I'm at the stage of giving up its doing my head in. Can anyone tell me how to handle this situation?

I do like and care about him and I appreciate that trust is earned but its unbearable


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmmm it sounds kinda like my ex. The same thing has happened with me sister too her bloke was the same. These kind of men do for some strange reason, tend to be a lot more jealous and possessive than others. I think it's a mixture between some kind of whacked out commitment issue and a bit of personal insecurity. It's almost like they want you to constantly be around or something and they worry like mad whenever you're away or having fun spending time with your own friends.

    Have you tried to talk to him about it yet in any detail? If he kicks off about it then it's kinda obvious he's absolutely convinced you're playing away. Where is his trust in you? I mean it's a big part of any relationship trust is and building it up; and it seems to me that if he's adamant that you're cheating on him after such a short time of being together then he's probably convinced himself somehow. I'd try and talk with him in depth about it if you can. But if he won't give you the time of day to discuss the matter with you or if he starts an argument about it, then that's his prerogative. Personally I'd take matters further especially when you can see the faults that you should BOTH be aware of and working out together.

    • We don't really spend any time together tho and I personally feel he's not that bothered about seeing me. I appreciate he works a lot and wants to socialise and have time with his family ect.

      I have tried to talk to him it just hasn't been a good time and he tends to dodge the qs. Duno if that helps at all. I do find it hurtful he doesn't trust me but all in all its pushing me away

    • Show All
    • I'm sorry if you've felt like that aswel.

      I just have no idea what I should. Part of me feels like I should just walk away but we haven't argued as much this week. I don't want it to end but I duno what to do

    • If you feel like you really want to go ahead with this relationship then by all means, stick at it. If you haven't really had much of a chance to talk to him recently or be with him because he is working so much then really, he could be working so much and be having a hard time of it. But that doesn't mean to say he should be excluding you or avoiding you because that's not fair on you at all. Wait and see if he starts to chill out so you can have a civil discussion with him.

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  • I have the exact same problem except me and my boyfriend have been together for two years we live together and spend all our time together only being apart at work and we have the same work hours. We can't have any guys over to the house to hang out or drink or anything without my boyfriend getting suspicious that's something is up and this is with EVERY guy friend of his. He also gets paranoid in large crowds that everyone is looking at him and laughing at him. I think its been like this for about a year but things have come to a head lately as he had a friend stay over the weekend and was POSITIVE almost 100% that something happened when he was out of the room for 1 minute to get a drink and we were sitting on opposite sofas just laughing at something he said (I wish I could remember what as what I was laughing about has come up a lot in arguments). He is depressed and frustrated all day and now thinks that I am using my knowledge of his paranoia to manipulate him into believing nothing is going on and he spends his time at work building this intricate web of suspicions and throws them on me when he gets home. I don't know how much longer I can take this.

    From one girl to another it won't get any better by waiting it out. I wish I had gotten onto this straight away before it got worse. If you love him and want it make it work then make him see someone before it ruins what you have. If he won't see someone then he obviously doesn't care about you enough and isn't worth it.

  • Why hasn't anyone stated that this is a form of control? You're only a few weeks in and he's sending aggressive messages? It won't get any better. These are red flags. He needs to grow up and learn that dealing with your own insecurities by threatening his girlfriend is no way to behave. What will happen later? Will he hit you? He doesn't seem to have much control over his behaviour, do you really want to become a beaten wife terrified that anything you do or don't do will set him off? You're worth more than that. No one should have the power to control you with violence or the threat of violence. What if you have children in the future? Is that the relationship example you want to set? It's time to woman up and tell him it's unacceptable or leave him.


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