How do I let him go easy? And when?

Here's my story... He and I met 6 months ago and hit it off quickly. I moved in with him, and we were in love. I love him still. Here's the problem though, now my Career as a massage therapist is taking off, and he lost his job. Now, it isn't the $$ thing, because I love having him happy. Even before when he had his job I still loved to give him tons of money and gifts and was happy with it. Now I am having second thoughts about the home and life we have together, mainly because he is now SO controlling and mean. Plus my ex fiance keeps coming into my mind. I can't think about my guy now without my ex coming into my mind. What do I do? Leave him? If I do, he has no home, friends, family, or job and it looks as though I am heartless. But If I stay, then I'm unhappy. Ugh! Help me?!?

What if he just gets mad and leaves? And just doesn't come back? Should I stay in contact to make sure he is okay? Should I try to talk to his family (who doesn't like anyone he dates, and gives me no hope for a "family" with him)? I do love him..
My biggest fear, is leaving him. And him hating me... How should I go about it so that his mean nature doesn't take over and he and I can still be friends. I mean, he is no longer friends with ANY ex of his. I don't want to be one of those girls. :( :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • I would say that you can talk him down, get him to redirect those feelings of inadequacy into something constructive. (Those feelings are the problem; the controlling and the meanness are the symptoms.)

    Instead, it seems as though you're already one foot out the door. In which case, give him a fair period of time--say, 90 days--tell him the relationship is over, and he needs to sort his affairs. No need for a scene, just be clear and firm.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Any ending of a relationship isn't going to end well and you just have to accept that.

    Sit back and think what is more important, him or your career than make your decision from there. You wouldn't have this dilemma if you were with someone who you wanted to be with.

  • If he doesn't even attempt to get a new job then leave his sorry, deadbeat, ass. However if he tries to get a job then give him a chance for him to get stable, he sounds like he's had a rough few months, nobody can come out of that unchanged.

    • You could try telling him that you still have the same feelings for him, it's just you want to have a bit of time for yourself while he sorts out his own issues.

  • If he just walks, hog heaven. I wouldn't contact him or his family until he's had time to get his act together. Give it 6 months.

    You can't control what he does or how he feels. You can only do what's best for you and hope he signs up.


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