Help me suss my ex out

I have recently split up with my on/off boyfriend of 4 years.. We split because of arguments.. His decision, its been a month since we split..

Because I love him, I have been the fool and texted and rang in contently.. I know I shouldn't but its hard when the one person you love you feel like your losing them

At first he wasn't answering my calls and ignoring me. He would ignore me when I see him. But I finally pulled myself together and gave him a week. He then started to reply to my messages. They where hurtful, he said stuff like Move on and I don't love you no more and leave me alone.

The thing is when have previously been through a break up he acts like he doesn't care. I have questioned him on why he does this and he said because he doesn't like to show emotion and anger is he's way of showing he's upset.

So when he says he doesn't love me, I start to think maybe he's just angry. As I have been through this with him before.. He's said a lot of stuff he hasn't meant to me before. And I didn't think he could fall out of love in a month..

He was telling me he loved and would be lost if we split a few days before we did.

Atm when I bump into him he ignores me

I think deep down he still loves me, why does he have to act cold and ignore me when we split? And if I give him time do people think he'll talk to me when he's ready?

I am slight scared to give him time in case he doesn't miss me and actually wants to move on. I know there's nothing I can do to prevent this happening but just don't wanna think about it.

He thinks being single is more easier then a relationship. So that's why I think he always splits up cause he can't take the arguments. He says he can do what he wants and doesn't have to think about an other half.

can anyone help me suss my ex out. Thanks :D x


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Most Helpful Girl

  • IM IN THE SAME SITUATION... BELIEVE ME I KNOW IT HURTS BUT YOU NEED TO BE STRONG... YOU NEED TO DO THE SAME THING I AM WHICH IS IGNORING HIM FOR A WHOLE MONTH SO HE CAN REALLY HAVE TIME TO MISS YOU... HE WILL CALL BACK I GUARRANTEE YOU... YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP STRONG...I KNOW THAT YOU ARE SCARED OF HIM MOVING ON (BECAUSE I AM) BUT YOU NEED TO REALIZE THAT HE ALREADY IS...BY ACTING THE WAY HE IS AND SAYING THE THINGS HE IS SAYING... HE LIKES BEING SINGLE... GIVE HIM THAT FREEDOM HE WANTS... DONT BE SELFISH! IF YOU LOVE HIM AND YOU SEE HE IS HAPPY THAT WAY THEN LET HIM BE... I KNOW ITS NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR BUT ITS THE UGLY TRUTH... IF HE CALLS YOU AGAIN AFTER THAT ENTIRE MONTH HAS PASSED AND YOU WANT TO ANSWER THEN GO A HEAD... BY THE END OF THAT MONTH BOTH OF YOU WILL BE THINKING DIRRENTLY... AND ARE GOING TO HAVE A PLEASANT CONVERSATION BECAUSE YOU HAVE REALLY MISSED EACH OTHER... IF HE DOESNT CALL YOU BACK AGAIN THEN YOU NEED TO ACCEPT THAT, THAT IS HIS FINAL DECISION AND JUST KEEP STAYING AWAY ...

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What Guys Said 1

  • He might be tryiing to get over you and that's how he deals with it, by ignoring you avoiding contact being mean so you don't tempt him, chat, contact make it more difficult etc

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What Girls Said 3

  • An ex told me once (after a while we did become friends, which was a mistake on to itsself), that the reason guys do that and mine did the same, even though I stopped texting after a week, is because its easier to move on. Men show emotions differently then women and while we are trying to hold on to the comfort of a relationship they are trying to deal in their own way. Esp. if your the one that broke up with him, by you calling and him turning you down he has the power. No you don't fall out of love in a month, but love alone doesn't make a relationship and its his way of dealing with it. I once saw my ex and right after he treated me like sh*t outside of a store, he went to the back and was crying...

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  • I understand what you're going though because my ex recently broke up with me. He's so busy with work and school that he thinks not being with me makes his life easier.

    Wrong.

    We broke up last week and It took my ex 2 days to figure out he misses me. Since then, he has described his life as an unhappy one, while I've been hanging out with college friends and exploring new places. It's only a matter of time before he breaks down.

    Your ex is wrong as well, but he can't see that yet. The more time you spend trying to talk to him, the more he'll be reminded why he broke up with you in the first place. Let him go for now, he'll come back soon enough. You have even said he has done this in the past..it's a defense mechanism. He still loves you, but he is really hurt. It usually takes about 1-3 months.

    You need this break too for yourself.This "break" will give you time to actually THINK what you could have done better to not fight as much (for example: my issue was my pride). It'll also release bitter feelings you might have from him giving you the "cold shoulder".

    You have already established the fact that you want to talk. Biologically he is into you, now you have to get the psychological part on your side as well. When he is ready to talk you will both be level-headed to work out a game plan that keeps your relationship healthy.

    Gotta know the rules to win the game.

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  • sounds like my ex.

    except we have been broken up for 7 months and I still really miss him :(

    i wish he would come back, but I have excepted he isnt.

    i blew up my ex's phone for the first couple months, and he usually did not answer.

    the last time I saw him was about 4 weeks ago, he randomly wanted me to come over.

    we had really good compassionate sex/oral/fooling around/talk/joking.

    we said we missed each other, but the next morning he said he had no feelings for me.

    breaks my heart.

    but as you can tell I am telling you what I've experienced on him NOT coming back and meaning the whole breakup.

    i would love to be with my best friend again but apparently it is not going to happen, and I have excepted it.

    we no longer talk.

    i have never felt such pain in my life, but I feel so much stronger and independent.

    from your situation I can recommend just doing what he asks of you, don't pester him or pressure him.

    if he wants you, he will come to you.

    for the things that you done that hurt him, (not saying you did bad things but in every relationship, there are things a partner does that the other does not appreciate) don't do them again.

    just show you love him by respecting his needs and wants.

    that is what I am doing now.

    i love my old best friend and will never disrespect him again.

    all I can hope for is one day we reunite.

    but as for you, I hope you the best.

    things always happen for a reason I believe.

    everything does.

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