How do I apologize to my ex?

We dated for 1.7 years until I found out he had been cheating after a year of dating. When I found out, we broke up. Then a few months later we decided to try again. He had made some changes that I asked for (most of which were surface level things. But still, he listened to me and made the effort). I tried to move past the cheating, but, a few days into trying to be together, I got upset (i really don’t think I’m over what happened). And I brought up some things that were bothering me about the cheating, and i wanted answers to questions he didn’t give specifics too. He got really upset I brought things up. And in the end he told me “i love you as a person and companion and a friend, but I’m not in love with you anymore”. I tried to ask him to give me time to get over it. I told him originally I’d need time to heal and would need his help as my partner. I think he just expected me to let it go right away. Which maybe I just should have. In the end, he told me he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. And then when I tried to convince him, he told me “i have done all I can to change. And everything is the same on your side” which isn’t entirely truth either! I brought it up this one time, and thought we could talk about it. But maybe it wasn’t right. I want to forgive him. Right now i don’t entirely because it still hurts. I want to apologize to him eventually for being unforgiving towards him. I just feel like an awful person. Also because i helped make the relationship toxic. It wasn’t only me. It was both of us. But i have been blaming him the whole time. What do I do? I also still love him and would want to try again in The distant future. But, he also told me he isn’t in love anymore. And he told me he stayed because he loved me, but was selfish when he cheated and didn’t want to lose me.
How do I apologize to my ex?
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