How to heal from broken heart\hurt past relationships help😨😢?

hi i met my boyfriend in 2015 during may we dated til 2017 then at April of 2017 he left me for another woman so he dumped his girlfriend. and got back with me on December30th of 2017 lately me and my boyfriend talk and text a whole lot my boyfriend ghosted me for a couple days i felt like he didn't want me anymore so the relationship is like if he doesn't want me i like him but now its like if he tries to like me i pull away and dont feel the same way about i just want to know what's wrong with me also its been a long distanced relationship i haven't had a chance to know him or spend time with him now he wants to be with me but im not sure that i want to because i been hurt and cheated on the fact he left for another woman really made me feel ugly and unloved i was in love with him when he left i had mental breakdown and tried to hurt myself at one point i was taking psychotherapy and meds i really care about him he always on my mind when i was an child i had an abusive childhood now when someone shows me love im scared to open up

What should i do😨😢
How to heal from broken heart\hurt past relationships help😨😢?
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