Is my boyfriend over his ex?

My boyfriend dated a girl through high school for 3 1/2 years. He even got up the nerve to eventually propose to her. However, they broke up almost a year before we started dating. I'm not too sure on the details of how they broke up, but from what little information I do have supposedly she cheated (or was thinking about cheating) on him so he broke up with her. After that she broke into his house and stole a lot of his things like his PS2, all of his video games, a lot of his clothes and a couple thousand dollars. Also she destroyed his two computers beyond repair and stole a part from his truck. Yet my boyfriend says he forgives her and they became best friends after they broke up.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months now and since we've gotten together they haven't talked that much (that I know of) except for a few times on Facebook where she usually initiated the conversation. Their chats usually are about nothing really important, just simple talks he would have with anybody. Recently he has told me every time he's had any kind of contact with his ex, including when he sees her parents shopping at the retail store he works at.

Most of the time when he talks about her he refers to her as a friend, although there are some times when he calls her his ex. He doesn't talk about her that much, but when he does he always seems depressed when he gets done talking and pauses for a while. She got a new boyfriend right after they broke up, and my boyfriend says that he thinks the guy is a jerk, but he feels sorry for him because she has cheated on her new boyfriend at least 6 times. He almost always talks about her with a negative tone and its usually about the breakup.

He has also told me that when they were together he used to be really compassionate and romantic, but he isn't that romantic with me; although, he really is getting better at that kind of stuff the more we are together. He tells me that he tried to be romantic in the past and it didn't work out, so this time he wants to try something different. It kind of hurts because I feel like he thinks I am going to do the same thing to him that his ex did. Also his friends know a lot about his ex, but they don't seem to know that much about me.

He also keeps a few things that his ex gave him. A couple of the things he hides under his bed, but he does have a teddy bear that she gave him and a picture that she painted him in plain sight. The painting really bothers me because I am an art major like she is, but I feel like if I gave him a painting it wouldn't be as important to him as her painting because she gave him one first. That kind of thinking might be a little naive, but art is really important to me.

I know he would never go back to his ex, but I guess what I'm wondering is if he still thinks about her or somewhere in his mind would he still want to be with her? So what are some of the signs that my boyfriend is still not over his ex girlfriend?


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What Guys Said 1

  • They were together for a good while and they were almost married. I'm sure he is not OVER her entirely, but he is probably in the process of moving on. He may not be ready for another relationship yet and doesn't realize it. Sit down and talk to him about these things that are bothering you. If he knew how important it was to you that he not keep those things around and talk about her so much, I'm sure you could reach an agreement.

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    • No he's not. I had his same situation. Just remember this...( COMMUNICATION IS KEY) To keep it a healthy relationship there needs to be communication. You don't know exactly what he's feeling, and he doesn't know what you're feeling. Have some time alone in person to talk things out. Who knows..maybe by just doing that, his appreciation and affection towards you could sky rocket in a good way.

What Girls Said 1

  • when he stops telling you about the converstations they have... or when he starts to meet up with her without you... or tries to hide anything about what he is doing with her... those are your signs... I agree with Surfinforlife... Communication is your key here... once you start to have the smallest doubt... if you don't talk to him about it... you are going to push him away...

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