How long do you wait before contacting your ex again?

I was the one who broke up with him, but I feel like it was abrupt. It happened over the phone and I didn't call him that night with the intention of dumping him; everything was going well. I want to just tell him why I don't want to stay with him and explain my feelings on what I thought about our relationship. It's been a week since we've seen each other. When will it be OK for me to see or talk to him?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, I was in a very similar situation once except that things ended badly and I just wanted to be given the chance to apologize for hurting him. In the end though, I realized that going back into his life after he had already started to heal wasn't going to help either me or him. It might seem like he needs closure, but I don't think telling him why you don't want to be with him is a very good idea since it's just going to open the wounds again and make him hurt over the relationship all over again and take that much longer for him to move on. That's just what I think based on my experience. But, if you still want to tell him, I would suggest doing it soon. It might depend though on each individual relationship, like how long you had been together and how bad the breakup was before deciding when to see him again though. Just don't go into detail, tell him even you weren't expecting to break up so suddenly but that it just didn't feel right to you anymore and you're sorry.

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    • Well the reason why I broke up with him was because he was dead set on moving to Europe next year and staying there for 5 years. I didn't want to get any more attached to him, so I guess as a defense mechanism, I just broke things off. He still wants to keep in contact with me, but I'm not completely over him. While I do miss him dearly, I feel like he led me on and I didn't tell him that during the break up since I don't think too well when I'm mad or upset. We were together for...

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    • I think in that case maybe you actually should tell him, especially since it seems like although you broke things off, you got the shorter end of the stick and you probably deserve to let him know what you are feeling and your perspective. I still think though that maybe you should tell him as soon as you can and then maybe both of you can talk about it, which I think can help clear the air. My situation was different because I just didn't have feelings for him anymore. Good luck

    • Thanks a lot for your advice. I saw him today and we took the train home together. I told him how I felt (besides me starting to fall in love with him) and I felt much better since I no longer have those feelings eating away at me. He wanted to remain as friends, which is good, I guess, considering how he's not friends with his first 2 exes and his 3rd ex, he didn't wanna be friends with, but they still talk. Thanks again!

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