Will my ex come back?

First off, he broke up with me. We dated for six months exactly, and at the end, he told me the feeling just faded away; he didn't feel for me like that. I asked him if he was sure, or if it was because of all the stress that had piled up on him during the last few days alone (red light ticket, no financial aid for school, maybe can't graduate from college, etc.), and he said no, he just lost the feeling.

So we broke up. it's been a month and a half. We planned on staying friends, but after we broke up, we didn't speak for a month. Eventually, he messaged me first asking if we could talk. We hit it off again and talked like we used to - both while we were dating and while we were just good friends. It felt nice, we both agreed.

He started spiraling into a bit of depression and admitted that he missed me and he was stupid for ruining everything. He was regretting what he did and he asked me things like "If I were at your doorstep right now, would you take me back?" I told him I would, but that we would talk first to figure out how we would deal with the problems that drove us apart. We talked about our relationship - what went wrong, what happened, etc. Then that was it for a bit.

A few days ago, he said this while we were talking, exactly this:

I definitely do miss you

a lot

There's a part of me inside

that wants to say

I love you

please come back

I miss having you in my bed

sleeping at night

just knowing you were there

waking up and you'd be there

And then there's the other half of me that makes almost the exact opposite choices

It's riddled with the negatives

The realities of the troubles and hardships

and the rough times ahead

And I don't know what I want.

And I don't know what's best for me.

I told him I would take him back. Gladly. That I'm willing to work through the rough times with him and I would stay by his side because I still love him and I will always love him (either as a friend or as something more). I told him I'm not putting my life on hold for him - if someone else comes my way and I can be happy with that other person, I'm going to take that route. At the end of our talk, he said, "Well, if I'm too late, then I'll just have to live with that."

I don't know what to do. I'm so confused. I don't know what else I can do to reassure him that to me, he's amazing and wonderful (he has low self-worth/esteem). I think I've done everything I can, and I just have to wait to see if he'll come back to me. At the same time, though, I'm living my life and I'm trying to not let it get to me too much. I am hoping, but I have to keep on living, too.

I don't know what to do. Do you think he'll ask to come back? What should I do to let him know that I want to try again?

Updates:
He asked to talk on webcam yesterday. We talked about fun things and eventually our relationship. He said at the end, "Yeah, you shouldn't take me back." and then "The only thing I didn't deserve was to have someone like you who cared so much for me."

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hm, let see...

    Chemistry dies out like a fire if you don’t stoke it once in awhile.

    Humans have needs – both emotional and physical. They need to be caressed, held, hugged, kissed, listened to, flirted with, and desired.

    Your relationship routine might have made your ex feel starved for whatever it was they didn’t get anymore – that very stuff that made your stomachs and hearts flutter when you first started dating. If he or she was starving, then chances are you weren’t getting everything out of the pairing that you wanted as well.

    What were you lacking in the relationship? What was missing?

    Most relationships don’t crumble because of one single issue. When one thing comes in between two people, they usually recognize it and work things out amicably – unless it’s a deal breaker like, “he wants kids and I don’t.”

    You might even see the breakup as a result from one of the above issues while your ex would pinpoint something totally different. Maybe you thought it was the fact that you spent no time together, but he thought it was the nagging you did.

    If you want to get your ex back, don’t do these things::

    - Texting your ex will push him away – fast;

    - Calling your ex multiple times a day shows neediness;

    - Telling him to get back with you telegraphs insecurity;

    - Writing letters to try to make him understand how you feel is

    counter-productive;

    -Phoning his parents and try to convince them to talk

    sense into his is a sure way to get ignored;

    -Calling the new girl in his life and telling him to leave him

    alone will instantly turn him against you

    How to get him back?

    Maybe this few tips will help you:

    - Never look desperate – work on your self, you need to shine if you want to attract him back

    - Start seeing other guys. That will wake uh her curiosity and insecurity (is possible that he has already move on!?)

    - Go out together, do stuff together, but don’t ask him to get back, just have great time together, let he see how good it was in relationship

    Hope this help. For some more advanced tips, check out link , it may be useful...

    All the best and good luck!

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    • Thank you for the tips!

      I know he wanted us to talk more - we weren't really "arguing" or "debating" and he wanted that. I just never knew what to say because I felt he would get upset at me for comforting him or voicing my opinions on certain things. =/ But we were both guilty of that, as we've talked it out. We had an idea of what a relationship was supposed to be like, and without consulting the other, we did what we thought was best, which was actually a deficit.

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What Guys Said 2

  • i wish my ex felt the same same way with me...

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  • On a scale of 1-10, how bad do you want him back? I got a lot of good advice from this girl ==> link

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