I really wanted to read this one but im not able to
I can relate man, your not alone
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I never shared my emotions and I was better off without them which took a year to be able fo have a deep emotional connection and a week after i had that she broke up with me and left me with my broken emotional state
Dude just kill it that's what I did. after my friend girlfriend I killed it you don't need love to survive just weakens you prevents you from being successful.unless you don't care about anything but love then go find the person you looking for.