We were together for 3 years this November. I'm in the Air Force, and we had talked about taking our relationship further for a while now. I finally went out after saving for several months and got the most expensive ring that I could afford on my salary for her, and I tried to get the timing right too. I even got her mom and dad's consent before I asked her. They gave me their full support. I took out her out for a really nice dinner at this little Italian restaurant near the base the other week. Afterward, I got down on my knee and proposed to her with the ring. She was kind of in shock, but then she said no to me. She told me that she can't be married to a guy in the military. She also told me I better have the receipt for the ring. She just wanted to be in a relationship with me, not married, because she didn't want to be married to a guy who might come home from a war dead or something. I told her if she felt this way, she should have said something a lot sooner, especially considering how ling we were together. She never gave me any indication that she felt this way. A few days ago she told me she wanted to end our relationship altogether. She told me we can be friends, but never anything more again.
I feel so hurt and upset over this. I really loved her and I don't understand why this has happened. We had a lot of history together. I haven't even found the strength to take the ring back because I'm so hurt over this. She was the first girl that I really loved strongly, and I never expected this to happen. I can't help it, I was in the Air Force a year before I even met her. I can't just get out because she doesn't want to be in a relationship with a military guy. I wish I could, but it doesn't work like that. I don't understand this. I loved her so much and I am so heartbroken. After she ended it, I just broke down crying and I have felt so lousy and upset since. I never did anything to hurt her, I just don't get it. I don't understand why the fact I'm in the military has to get in the way of us. I'm really having trouble moving on after this as well. Is it really normal to feel this low after a break up like this? Its been really hard for me to move on and try and get over this in the last few days.
Most Helpful Girl
I just want to tell you my story since I dated and then married a military guy.
When I first told some of my friends about dating him one of my friends said, don't do it because he won't be here and it would not feel like a real relationship. And she was right, he was overseas while I was in the states and we only skype one hour a day or so. We didn't go on dates, didn't go out to a movie or dinner. just skype.
Then he asked me to marry him and I said yes, and now I am living a sad life. I left my job, family, friends for him. He some times go on missions and leaves me. Alone, kind of like I have no guy in my life. And when he is hoem he works so much and doesn't want to talk to me or do anything with me. He just wants to sit and play video games. I live a lonely life, a life that I don't think was what I wanted. Do I fear that he may die? well, he gets sent to some of the most dangerous places in the world for peroides at a time, while I am sitting at home... just waiting. know what I mean? I some times want to leave him, not because he might die but because we don't seem to really have a relationship... so it's hard on military wifes/spouse/girlfriends when their guy has their number one priority as being a soldier and NOT being a family man... if you know what I mean... but whatever. It's life.0