My boyfriend left me?

I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for 1 year and 6 months. We had some issues at the beginning of our relationship because he was Christian and I was not, so we disagreed on things quite a bit. However, we still fell in love and after 6 months of being together we decided to move in together. The main reason for this was because I lived on the West Coast and he on the East Coast and we really wanted to be together. (I moved out there for him).

So even though I ended up getting saved, we still fought quite a bit about other things. Things got so bad that in August of this year he told me that I should go spend some time with my family, but it was NOT meant to be a break, just simply a vacation. I spent one month out there and flew back in September Things seemed to be pretty good, as we talked about how we're both gonna change for the better. However, 5 days ago, he ended up telling me that somethings changed within him and that he’s confused about us. He told me that he wants to make it work but he’s afraid that the feelings not gonna go away and that he doesn’t wanna hurt me or lead me on. (Keep in mind we were looking at engagement rings a week earlier, that's how serious we were).

So I asked him if he wanted me gone and he said “I don’t know”. In the past he’s always told me he wanted me to stay. He also told me he had the desire to look at other girls while I was in CA. So, I took that as a yes and left. He let me go with $400, an unreliable car with no radio, and did NOT check up on me and my 3 day trip ONCE. (I had to drive a good 2,700 miles).I even called the night I left and asked him if he wants me back and he said “No. I think this is the right thing to do”. I even called him the next day and he didn’t answer or call me back at all to this day( I could’ve been hurt). I haven’t talked to him since, it's been 5 days. I’m devastated, I feel sick, depressed, lonely. I know that in our relationship things didn’t go as we planned, but always wanted to work on that. Never to give up. I can’t believe he gave up. What do I do? I haven’t called him or text him since the second day of my drive. Everyone tells me not to. But what are the possibilities of him being back? I’m so sad, my tummy like burns from the pain. I lost my job, school, and everything because I moved out there, he still has everything. I have nothing at the moment except for my wonderful family. Please help :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's hard to really know what to say. I think he should have called you or at least made sure you got home okay. Even if not because of feelings of a relationship or something of that sort, even if you can just say he cares about you as a friend, he should have tried to make sure you were more okay than that, I know I would have.

    You probably don't want to hear this, but even if he wants you back, are you sure you want to take that leap again? You said you have nothing at the moment except for your wonderful family, do you really want to leave them, again, for the guy that didn't care to see if everything was okay because he "didn't know" about his feelings? =\. I hate to put him on the spot in such a way, but to call your family wonderful I'd think you have a good relationship with them. And if you have a good relationship with your family, maybe all you need right now is to grab a hold of that right now for your strength, and continue on with the rest of your life. School, a job, a future, look to go after those things. He had his chances, now they are gone and you have to continue going, for yourself.

    Hope that helps. Good luck!

    • Thanks Dragonblood, that really did help. I also thought that he'd at least shoot me a text to make sure I was okay or pick up when I called him the 2nd day of my drive (I could've been getting raped or something, you know?). It's really hard coming to terms with the fact that the person you loved is not who you thought he was. But yeah my family is definitley very supportive and I will just turn to them when I need the strength. Thanks again for the great advice, it made me feel better! :-)

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