I want him back... what's he thinking?

My ex and I broke up a couple months ago. He told me the reason for breaking up was the distance (we go to school and hour away from each other), but we both know that's not the real reason. He didn't tell me the real reason though.

Anyways, he told me he wanted to stay friends and I guess he meant it. We don't talk a lot, and we haven't seen each other since, but he'll post on my FB sometimes and occasionally text me. I rarely reach out to him because I'm afraid he'll take it as I miss him and therefore he needs to back off more. Well, I do miss him, but I don't want him to think he needs to stop talking to me.

I mean, I miss him a LOT. I think about him every day and I keep dreaming about him and stuff. I know this isn't healthy, so I tried convincing myself that I can move on. Right when I started doing really well, he texted again. And now I'm back to square one. >.<

I guess my main question is what might he be thinking? If he still texts me, does that mean he misses me too? Should I stay hopeful for him, or should I move on and not wait for him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok, let see.

    Humans have needs – both emotional and physical. They need to be caressed, held, hugged, kissed, listened to, flirted with, and desired.

    Your relationship routine might have made your ex feel starved for whatever it was they didn’t get anymore – that very stuff that made your stomachs and hearts flutter when you first started dating. If he or she was starving, then chances are you weren’t getting everything out of the pairing that you wanted as well.

    What were you lacking in the relationship? What was missing?

    Most relationships don’t crumble because of one single issue. When one thing comes in between two people, they usually recognize it and work things out amicably – unless it’s a deal breaker like, “he wants kids and I don’t.”

    You might even see the breakup as a result from one of the above issues while your ex would pinpoint something totally different. Maybe you thought it was the fact that you spent no time together, but he thought it was the nagging you did.

    If you want to get your ex back, don’t do these things::

    - Texting your ex will push him away – fast;

    - Calling your ex multiple times a day shows neediness;

    - Telling him to get back with you telegraphs insecurity;

    - Writing letters to try to make him understand how you feel is


    -Phoning his parents and try to convince them to talk

    sense into his is a sure way to get ignored;

    -Calling the new girl in his life and telling him to leave him

    alone will instantly turn him against you

    How to get him back?

    Maybe this few tips will help you:

    - Never look desperate – work on your self, you need to shine if you want to attract him back

    - Start seeing other guys. That will wake uh her curiosity and insecurity (is possible that he has already move on!?)

    - Go out together, do stuff together, but don’t ask him to get back, just have great time together, let he see how good it was in relationship

    Hope this help. For some more advanced tips, check out link , it may be useful...

    All the best and good luck!


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Wait for what? If he broke up with you then why would you want someone who turned their back on you?

    Look at it this way. You cut yourself, emotionally and he is the knife. You need to heal and protect your heart before you consider even talking to him. Something good needs no rush. You have nothing but time to yourself to make yourself happy. If you are not happy with yourself how do expect to make someone else happy.

    If he still contacts you, I think you should just no respond. It seems like every time you hear from him it sets you back. Don't do that to yourself. It will only prolong you moving on.


What Girls Said 1

  • personally, I think he doesn't want you to go anywhere but he doesn't want a relationship with you either...he knows you're into him and wants to know you're there to fall back on. I'm not sure if it's an ego boost or what but this guy says, "we should be friends" then continues to contact you and you continue to wait for him..y'all are only an hour away..this is just...there are too many red flags in my opinion. the distance thing is an excuse...you're an hour away not across country. honestly, if a guy knew he was going somewhere where he could get ____ do you SERIOUSLY think he'd pass up on that? most guys, atleast.

    bottom line

    he doesn't miss you, you're his backup, no you shouldn't stay hopeful for him and I promise when you stop talking to him is when he'll want you more and although that'll be tempting and you'll want to use that to your advantage, it's a recipe for disaster. going back and forth for years of "should I ignore him now or wait longer. OK, he's not texting me so I'll ignore him so that he'll chase me" you don't want to play that game so just move on man. easier said than done I know but if you HAVE to text him, don't get personal and keep it short.

    waiting for him is like waiting on a plane at a train station


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