His ex is not over him

Ok, so here's my problem. I know the my bf's ex is not over him - she had an illegitimate child with a married man a year ago (right around the time I met him). He said they were best friends when he and I met, and about 2 months after we were dating, he went to visit her while I was at work (which I knew about).

I was under the impression she had a boyfriend, mainly because I didn't come out and ask for specific details on his situation. I moved in with him and that's when I got her full story, which I was VERY uncomfortable with. She started sending him gifts in the mail and commenting on his photos that I commented on in fb.

I asked him to stop talking to her. He got angry and refused saying "we're just friends". I went another 6 months and looked in his email (I know, bad, but when he wouldn't give me more than the "we're just friends" line, I needed proof). She wrote him an email asking if she should date other people or wait for him and that even if he was married she could still count on divorce. He said she should start dating other people (which is good), but I am very upset that he still continued to talk to her at least once a week after she said that. I asked him again to stop talking to her - he got angry and walked out of the room, refusing to stop talking to her.

Well now, 6 months later, I freaked out on him again, and he said he would stop talking to her. Well, this is horrible, but after all this time has gone by and hwith him refusing and getting angry when I mentioned this, I am having a hard time believing that he stopped talking to her. I am a firm believer that if someone dosnet want to stop doing something and sees no harm in it, they won't stop. He said he didn't want to stop talkng to her but he would so I would stop having anxiety attacks.My gut is still telling me something is very wrong..Maybe I have trust issues? Do you think he is over her? If so, why keep her in his life when she still wants to get back together?


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What Guys Said 2

  • check his phone, his email, and his FB page...if there's been no contact, then that might be the time to start believing him...also, watch how he behaves or what he does during the day, unexpected moods or blank time lines are bad indicators

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    • Previously I was against snooping, but now I am because it's been so hard to trust him. Perhaps this is a red flag -since our fight, he has locked his phone, email and FB.

    • If you can't trust him, then maybe this is as far as the relationship will go...until he proves otherwise...he locked his stuff, now you can only observe him

  • ..it's ALL THE ABOVE you mentioned... it's all there. He still oves her and wants her... decide what you do next, carefully

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