Should I try to win her back and how?

I dated a girl for almost a year. She lived about an hour and a half away, and when we first started seeing each was like every weekend or so. Everything was great, and we never fought or had any problems. She always texted/called me and was always so interested in me and vise versa. But, about a few months ago, she started doing a side job on the weekends (work you own hours type of thing). I could also tell she was acting a little distant, and we started seeing each other less. Although I told her I wanted to see her as often as she would like, even if she had to work..etc. Well about a month ago she broke up with me, saying that she got a call from a high-school sweetheart (that she hadn't talked to for 10 years) far in another state where she grew up and still has feelings for him, and that she also had past family problems she wants to work out. I told her how I feel about her and everything, and I am not usually one to fall for a girl and be over emotional, but dammit, I miss her a lot and I can't stop thinking about her. I dated other girls before, but they all mean nothing to me, compared to her. She said I'm the perfect guy, then what's the problem? Should and how can I win her back, because she is one of a kind and even though we have been dating for a little less than a year, I still feel like she is the one? I still occasionally chat with her, but she just doesn't seem much interested in me as much. I just can't stop thinking about her, and even though I told her how I feel, it just seems like I my have missed something, and I'm not sure if I should give her time or try to explain to her more. I just wanna know I did everything I could to be with her, but don't wanna scare her off for good. Sorry for over-emotional long post, but any advice will be appreciated.


Most Helpful Guy

  • That is an long story.

    Chemistry dies out like a fire if you don’t stoke it once in awhile.

    Humans have needs – both emotional and physical. They need to be caressed, held, hugged, kissed, listened to, flirted with, and desired.

    Your relationship routine might have made your ex feel starved for whatever it was they didn’t get anymore – that very stuff that made your stomachs and hearts flutter when you first started dating. If he or she was starving, then chances are you weren’t getting everything out of the pairing that you wanted as well.

    What were you lacking in the relationship? What was missing?

    Most relationships don’t crumble because of one single issue. When one thing comes in between two people, they usually recognize it and work things out amicably – unless it’s a deal breaker like, “she wants kids and I don’t.”

    You might even see the breakup as a result from one of the above issues while your ex would pinpoint something totally different. Maybe you thought it was the fact that you spent no time together, but he thought it was the nagging you did.

    If you want to get your ex back, don’t do these things::

    - Texting your ex will push her away – fast;

    - Calling your ex multiple times a day shows neediness;

    - Telling her to get back with you telegraphs insecurity;

    - Writing letters to try to make her understand how you feel is


    -Phoning her parents and try to convince them to talk

    sense into her is a sure way to get ignored;

    -Calling the new guy in her life and telling him to leave her

    alone will instantly turn her against you

    How to get her back?

    Maybe this few tips will help you:

    - Never look desperate – work on your self, you need to shine if you want to attract her back

    - Start seeing other girls. That will wake uh her curiosity and insecurity (is possible that he has already move on!?)

    - Go out together, do stuff together, but don’t ask her to get back, just have great time together, let she see how good it was in relationship

    Hope this help. For some more advanced tips, check out link , it may be useful...

    All the best and good luck!


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What Girls Said 2

  • Well not being horrible, but if she left you for another guy then clearly she's not worth it, unless she dumps him and comes back to you and says something like " I made a mistake you're the one I want" but she hasn't so maybe she isn't worth fighting for. We have all been there:(, been more interested in someone more than they are with you. If she wants to be with this other guy then maybe you should let her be happy.

  • You need to be bold and put all of your feelings out there. BUT the key is you need to still be masculine. Sometimes women don't feel it for men who are TOO sappy. This other guy must be filling a void in her that you weren't. I'm not sure if you still live far away, but I think you should do something bold and assertive and go see her to talk to her. Take her out and court her and tell her how you feel. Don't have any expectation and don't pressure her to say anything. Just put it out there that you still have feelings and that you would love the chance to make it work. If she doesn't reciprocate or give you anything, then just know that you did your part and you acted like a man and pursued her. If she doesn't respond well to that, then go find a woman who will appreciate your efforts :)

    • I just wrote her an email a few hours ago, telling her that she is the love of my life. It's been months now and I still feel that way even more every day. I couldn't just say nothing, and I didn't want to freak her out by going to see her unexpected. I don't know if she would want that. I asked her to talk to me whether in person/phone or chat. She hasn't said anything since. I don't know if I did the right thing, but I couldn't just do nothing. What do you think might happen?

    • I don't know what will happen without knowing what she's feeling. But you did your part; you told her how you feel. Now don't pressure her and see what happens. Let me know how she responds to your email and we can go from there :)

What Guys Said 1

  • Leaving you for another guy she hadn't seen for 10! years was just a convenient excuse to get out of a relationship she didn't want to be in. Avoids having to say why she didn't want to be in it. Probably with the other job and family issues she didn't have time for you and you living far enough away that it's not practical to fit you in, eventually came to conclusion its not working for her anymore. Nothing you can say will change that. Just let her go.

    • True, but I explained to her I would do anything, move to her or whatever...she asked me before (if I could ever or would, and I said yea). I just don't know if she scared to get involved with me, and think I might leave her or something. It's got me so down...I really don't think I will feel better, unless I know that there is no way I am ever going to get her back...and waiting, what if I wait to long....just don't know what to do.

    • Any more advice? I could use it lol.

    • Circumstances change people's minds and you can't rely on what may have been said in the past to be true any more. You can't fix her issues, whatever they might be.

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