Ex girlfriend of 8 years text me, advice?

She dumped me after eight years saying I had no intentions of marrying her or have children because I been there done that. We lived together and she moved out real quick and on a day special to me as I was honoring my sister who passed away and we do a charity lunch every year. She left stuff I changed the locks so she caant come and go as she pleased not after disrespecting me and not tellling me she was moving out that day which would have been OK. Now she has been texting me and asked if I've listened to willie nelsons song "Always on my Mind" I would sing this for her at Karoke. What does she mean by doing this? OH I told her not to go we can have kids and get married before she left but said it was to late. So I cut her off NC text keep coming.

She contacted me by text last night about 930 asking How R U? and Will you pplleeeaase not hate me so much? IM just not responding to her and have dropped off whatever she asked for that she left. I don't understand what to do from this point on? IDEAS?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You have a decision to make. Was her leaving a sign of her deepest character, that she is untrustworthy? Or was it out of character and she just got scared or spooked and deserves a chance to explain? Only you can answer that depending on your history with her.

    I'm sure there are many relationships where someone makes a big mistake out of fear and it turns out to be a good relationship in the long run. There are also ones where years down the road you ask "Why didn't I take the hint when she/he showed me the red flags?" It's hard to tell.

    If you think she's worth it, then talk to her and try to get to the bottom of why she moved out. Try not to judge too quickly as it could be something from her past that haunted her that would make sense of it if you knew. I lean toward giving her a chance to communicate if she's willing to honestly address what happened and take responsibility to deal with the issues so they never cause such an impulsive hurtful action again.

    • I may not be worth it to her I have the baggage ex wife, 21 moved in with us 6 months ago condos small he's leaving to cali soon but its takena toll on our life. 18 years old daughter in college. She has a mom that don't work a dad she never sees and has been sending little money moms house in forclosure brother that's a bum and took over moms home with a 9 year old sister that's cool but weird seeing all this. We lived together in nice upper class condo maybe she'll clear her head and come back smiling

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • she is trying to get back in with you I would think...but then why say its too late? I think she wants a grand gesture, because she obviously still has you on her mind

    • As for the it's to late that comment always sticks in my head. I'd really try to understand what she's feeling. She is very upset that to stay with me she has to sacrifice everything she wants in life but how can anyone step away unless someones knocking saying this and that it all pains me. I think she needs to go through this hopefully it works out for the better

  • Sounds like she's waited longer than she let you on to know. She let it go beyond herself instead of talking to you about what she really wanted hoping that you really wanted the same thing and would surprise her. We really don't want to tell our guy that he should ask us to marry him so we hold out for him to do it on his own until we can't wait anymore. 8 years is a long time, If I could give advice to ALL guys out there...unless a chick you're in a relationship with out and out says...I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED SO PLEASE DON'T ASK...then the chicks waiting for you to ask usually after a little over a year is when the hope starts.

    I'd say if you love her and can forgive her destructive lashihg out at you at this point she's still hoping you're gona send a diamond studded chariot to pick her up and take her to where you are waiting on one knee!

    Good Luck!

    • I really hope that's what this is about. IM just hesitant and want her to do it on her own but your advice is being well thought out thank you

  • Maybe she has been thinking about you and probably trying to see if you have been thinking about her too.. That's why she's trying to bring up things from the past, like the song you use to sing to her.. Just text her back and see what she wants.. She probably misses you, if ya'll been together for 8 years you know she loves you. When girls are with a guy for a certain amount of time and they feel like the relationship isn't going anywhere they will leave.. Maybe she wants to know if you are ready to settle down and marryy her.. Just talk to her and see where it leads ya'll..

    • God Laella I only wish it was that easy. She's a very confused and complicated women getting hit from all angles from family and lifes path I just hope she settles these issues and comes back wanting to work this out. she hasn't been on her own ever this is the first time and she moved into a shared apartment with a guy she dosnt even know that works alll the time and has a 3 year old she has to pay her way and live in her bedroom because its only 2 bedrooms and a kitchen and bath the upstairs

What Guys Said 2

  • Sometimes you don't know what you have until it's gone.

    I think the thought of you just crossed her mind. It happens. If you want nothing to do with her just continue to avoid. Other wise if you are still searching for answers now would be a good time to bring it up. But by you bring it up, you are basically saying that you are not over the break up. Anyone else wouldn't care enough to feed more wood into a fire that has already burnt out.

    • Actually I always have known my love for her but showing it I see has been no enough for her obviously. I suppose I can be over the break if I continue working on no contact I even used fedex to deliver her cloths to her moms she asked for yesterday.

  • She's just trying to get your attention...it shouldn't really bother you unless you still have feelings for her

    • It does bother me my feeling are strong for her but I also want her to be happy

Recommended myTakes