Is it weird for guys if the ex husband and I are close?

I mean we have 2 kids together. So we are going to spend some time together. But, my ex lives next door and is here quite often. It is nice for me because I don't always have to be alone with the kids and we can still co-parent. But would it be a deal breaker for you?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not weird at all. My aunt is pretty close to her ex and both parents love their son very much. They take turns in caring for the son and discuss problems with each other all the time. They also have dinner together with the son. Having a close relationship with your ex would probably make your kids happier. Many couples in bad terms argue all therime which kind of makes life a lot harder for their children. Take for example, my other aunt. She and her husband divorced for a about 10 years or so. Their daughter hates both the mom and dad. She live with her mom but treats her mom like ... (fill that in yourself) eventhough her mom works long hours just to pay for her. Her mom also pays her ex mother in law because out of the whole family, this was the one person that my cousin actually thought cared about her. She does not go to family dinners because she thinks everyone hates her. So yeah, I think staying in good terms is good for everyone, one less person to hate, one more friend, and your kids can prob be happy.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think that if you get along with your children's father better as an ex than when married, more power to you! It may be awkward for a new boyfriend to comprehend, but once he gets to know you and meets your ex and sees how he helps raise yours and his children, he will gain confidence in your relationship. If he is not accepting of this arrangement then consider this a litmus test that he fails. If a guy thinks that you are still with your ex-husband after a divorce and still having relations, ask him to conder that you two got divorced. Good luck with your searching and have fun raising your kids!

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  • I had a similar story, my wife and her ex were close but, he was real nasty, telling the kids to call their mom a whore, ask her why she married me, sued for custody just to drag us into the poor house, yet she talked to him after ward about old times, and gave him medical advice for his dying father while I had two deaths in my family and she merely said "sorry this happened." I went through hell when this court case was active, $12,000 dollars she blamed me for not making enough money and he manipulated his 7 year old daughter promising everything, now she is regretting it all and I am getting a divorce as my second marriage fails. Nice to co-parent but, it would be a deal breaker for me, there was a reason why I got a divorce the first time and the kids have to learn acceptance along with being positive and hopeful, working through difficulty. I gave up, she wouldn't change, I don't shoot the sh*t with my ex, it is inappropriate.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well it sounds like you guys have the ideal ex-marriage thing going on since you have kids - you can truly be friends and everything works out. Hey, if it worked for Demi and Bruce, why can't it work for us normal people! :)

    I can get where it would be an odd situation for a guy to be okay with (and I'm thinking about how I would feel if it were a guy in that kind of friendship with an ex, and yes, it would be something to get used to). But I think that if you're upfront with the dude that this is how things are, then they are the one choosing to continue with the relationship with you. If after you're upfront with them about the situation they decide they can't deal with, then good, they just saved you a lot of trouble that would have happened later down the road.

    As a step-kid myself (and I'm pretty sure it's likely I'll be a step-mom some day), people have to understand that when you're in a relationship with someone that has kids with another person, there's always going to be a level of communication happening with that other parent, even after the kid turns 18 (hello, college bills/graduation, hospital visits, marriages, etc). You as the person with kids/ex can help by making sure you always let the person you're with know that after your kids, THEY are the next priority in your life..not the ex :).

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