How do you stay away from an ex?

My ex and I broke up about a month ago. Besides a seven year age difference (I'm older), the relationship was pretty perfect. He's just as mature as me and that seemed to be the problem. He said he wasn't ready for a relationship with me and he hoped we could be friends. But, he hasn't called me at all. When I call him, he seems friendly. Any communication has been from me. So I'm thinking it's best to just leave him alone, since there is no real effort on his part. The problem is that it's hard and I can't stop thinking about him. I find myself picking up the phone and putting it down on almost a daily basis. This is driving me crazy. So, if any guy can give any advice on how I can stop this behavior or what he might be thinking at this point.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am in the same position as you. my ex and I broke up cause he wasn't ready for a relationship, but he asked me to still be friends with him. ever since we broke up, it's been me who has initiated communication. every time I see or talk to him, he's always nice and friendly. I actually got in contact with him a couple weeks ago and we met in person yesterday! I found out something very liberating and eye opening- he hasn't changed at all. the reason why you guys aren't in a relationship is cause he wasn't ready. a month has gone by and he doesn't really communicate with you, probably cause he's not ready. it takes time. and while he is taking the time to ready himself for a relationship, you shouldn't keep contacting him and waiting for him. I learned my lesson, but it took a lot longer than a month. (8 months!) Also, in my case going out to bars did not work. the only guys I would meet are douche-bags and it would make me miss my ex even more. I suggest going on a trip and treating yourself at the spa and eating out and going to the gym. focus on you and yourself and what you want. and good luck!

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What Guys Said 1

  • I am sorry but I am not agree with those suggesting to hit the bars or open a profile and getting 1000 messages to boast your ego.. There is always a way to talk out things. Going to a bar hanging out with other guys in the hope to find somone new who will help you to for get the previous one just becouse your BF/GF is getting a bit distance is cheap. I Always beleive that you must (atleast try your best) reach a complete closure from one relationsip before you enter in another. Call him and ask him that you want to talk. As you said he is kinda friendly on phone, he will not refuse to see you for coffee or something. Sit down at a place and explain what you want from this relationship. Stay calm and don't look desperate but look someone who care. Let him explain his posiiton and if he still insist that he can't get back then do a proper closure. Say bye to him nicely and move on.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It's hard to sever contact with someone we still care about. I was in this situation until recently. One day, I wrote him a paragraph-length email saying that while I thought we could be friends after our breakup, I was mistaken. I told him I was thankful for our time together and that I will always remember him with fondness (this is all true). I then told him that I simply needed to focus on me and my new relationship without feeling like it could be sabotaged. I found sending that email very empowering on many levels. And now I feel no desire to contact him like I did before.

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  • why don't you get some girlfriends together, hit the nearest bar and meet new guys to take your mind off of this one

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    • That would help, if I had any girlfriends to hand out with. I'm very reserved, I'm friendly but lack the social know-how to maintain friendships. When I try to hang out with coworkers, they usually want to go out when I can't and vice versa. So I'm left at home with nothing but him on my mind. Tonight, I picked up my phone to text him and my 12 year old daughter said "mom, if your gonna text "him," don't." Any other advice?

    • There are only 2 ways to get over a guy

      1. Time and

      2. Another guy

      I think you just need to give it some time before you're able to move on

      But what I did after my boyfriend broke up with me was created a profile on an online dating site and within minutes I got messages. Which was a confidence boast even if it was online

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