Wow, now I know I gotta move on but how?

So I need some words of encouragement because I'm really down right now and pretty p*ssed actually.

i told this guy I liked him over the summer and reacted pretty positively. we've been keeping in touch since then and we go to the same school.

after not talking for about 2 weeks i, again, put myself out there and asked him to clarify his intentions... he said he was still interested in getting together and that hasn't changed (we're both busy students) and then says but those times would be few and far between right now...blah blah

then we continued fb messaging... I asked him what he was doing next Sunday, AGAIN initiating and it was going to be our first time hanging out one-on-one.

all he said was that he has a retreat to go to all weekend so he wouldn't be able to do much.

So what the hell... he didn't both saying oh how about a different day, ANYTHING. his actions clearly don't match up with his words.

how do I move on? I really liked this guy too but that p*ssed me off so I need to get over it and move forward.

Updates:
i mean do I talk to him about it and say how I don't think this is gonna work out? or do I just let things be?


i replied back saying "ohh, alright then." and that's it. is that enough?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just ignore him and move on. Here's a not too big secret about guys. If they like you they will want to & will be with you. No exceptions.

    You don't have to say anything to him because whatever you say won't make a difference so I wouldn't do anything.

    And sorry it didn't work out, I know how it sucks, maybe when he's not so busy he'll ask you out. You never know.

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    • Thanks for your reply... okay now this is weird. I did message him back with just an "ohh, alright then". then he replied saying "yeah but next weekend should be good".

      between a scale of 1-10 I feel like he's a 5, part of me senses his interest and the other doesn't. but I'm not goign to get my hopes up. I told him Friday I should be open and gave him my numb to give me a call.

      ball is in his court now, I'm pretty much done for now.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • He sounds unsure about what he wants but as long as you keep contacting him he'll know he doesn't have to decide too soon as you'll still be around. Drop contact, go out, meet other guys and have fun. Stop being so available and if he likes you he'll be in touch and if not then you don't have to waste anymore time chasing someone whos not interested.

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  • I think you should talk things over with him. Your boldness in enough to catch any normal guy who is attracted to you. If it persists, its either he is not interested in you or is EXTREMELY shy or insecure. Also it might be because he is inexperienced in the dating department. You guys need a heart 2 heart talk and if you are sure he isn't intersted, you can then move on.

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  • if he likes you he'll pursue you or responde positively ewhen you pursue him either way is fine. quite trying to get to the bottom of things with him so early. if it hurts you to feel like he doesn't like you just let it hurt and go on with your day. you have to learn how to embrace those feelings to overcome them.

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  • well sounds to me that this guy is blowing you off and don't kow how to let you go. So I think you should just leave it be,

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  • listen to sad music and cry

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What Girls Said 4

  • I went through the exact same thing recently. The guy said he liked me but his actions didn't show it. It all didn't match up.

    Here's what you do.

    1. If he knows you're always available, he'll keep doing this.

    2. He can't even make time for you...no one is busy every second of the day, come on now.

    3. Motivate yourself...say to yourself "This guy CANT even give me some of this time to spend time with him when we BOTH like each other. You can't even say maybe next friday? You say you want to but your actions show you don't and I'm TIRED of waiting around for your ass. I'm not going to wait for ANY guy that can't even show me he really actually cares! So eff you I'm moving on to a guy that can find the time for me. Sorry I wasted my time on your "busy" self."

    4. Do the things you love to do! Go shopping, watching chick flicks, eat your favorite ice cream, invite your girlfriends over to rag on guys! Find the anger!

    5. And then after the anger if you ever feel sad, cry it all out...but always know you will become stronger after this.

    6. I understand you like him, I really liked this one guy but...it just didn't work out because he didn't want me as much as I wanted him. And that's what's happening here. It's like this guy is keeping you on a string just in case he needs a girl. Show him you're not going to wait for him.

    7. most of all, find some guys that will hang out with you and go see a movie with you or something.

    8. NO CONTACT AT ALL! That's how you move on, that's how you send the message loud and clear that you're not going to put up with his sh*t.

    See, it's like you've made him your priority, when you are just his option. And that's wrong. Turn the tables on him by step 8.

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  • I have travelled down this road too. Please save yourself the disappointment, hurt and let down by ceasing contact with him. It seems to be a case of a guy who purely loves the attention from you, it's an ego boost and he has no intentions of taking it further. Naturally, he won't admit to this because then all the attention disappears.

    The bottom line is this...you are young and deserve the best. If this 'boy' doesn't take advantage of this opportunity then it will be his loss. I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear. I know you just want to shake the hell out of him and say, "WTF!?!?" But, the fact is you can't control or make him do anything he doesn't want to. Learn from this experience and the next time you encounter a guy you like, carefully look at this actions. If his actions do not match his words then you have reason to question him. If he wants to pursue something then he will, it's that simple.

    Keep your head up! Good luck.

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  • Just let it be, it would have been your first one on one - if he doesn't even give you that much of a chance by offering another date to meet, I would say forget about it.

    I am in a similar situation with a guy that is overly busy, but even he managed to ask me out and meet with me several times (otherwise I would have already have forgotten about it).

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  • I agree with what he is saying. When a guy wants you there will be no ifs nor buts about it. It will be as clear as water. Do not contact him because the more you do, the more you will want. So, no contact and focus on your stuff... Sorry you are going through this! GOOD LUCK!

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