Most Helpful Girls
Im so sorry to hear your situation, it must be so hard trying to keep it together right now for those kids. But you can do it.
When they ask where she is tell them she's gone away for awhile (unless you know she won't randomly pop back up eventually) if they ask why just say she wanted to be alone. If they ask why just simply say you dont really know, but you wish you did
Dont tell them she's a no good rotten bitch who cheated and left them. you're probably really hurting right now and saying mean things can be easy, but for your children's sake dont talk bad about her around them. They won't understand and it will just hurt them more.
As they get older you can tell them the full truth but at these ages and with it being so sudden i would just keep it simple for them.
Be there for you kids, but also make sure to take care of yourself too. Its going to be hard to deal with all this, but you can do it.
Most Helpful Guys
This is a great opportunity to teach your kids about loss. I personally think the best way is to tell them honestly that she isn't coming back. Don't tell them exactly what happened, but it's important that they don't hold out for even a chance of her coming back. Hope this helps!
Kids are way more cleaver than we realize, in fact, generally, kids are more observant of important things, than adults, because adults have been taught dumb shit is more important, than real stuff your kids are picking up on, like emotional harmony and stress and security of peoples interactions around them. They adjust. No family is perfect. You actually have no idea if she will change her mind, ask for full custody or what, seen it happen all the time, when couples separate I just know they rarely see things the same way.
Don’t teach them mommy is a bad person and you are good, don’t go down that road, as the parent who does that will ultimately lose the whole thing, respect and they relationship, eventually.
Just be there for them and get her to talk on Skype with them. She doesn’t have any motherly instinct at all in her? I have heard about these women but as soon as I meet them, they actually love their kids