Ex who got me while pregnant and left me came back to me, should I take him back?

Long story short, he was the guy of my dreams since high school while I had been the nerdy girl guys like him would never notice, but I got to know him tutoring him in college, and after a few months he got me pregnant and left me when I refused to abort my child.
I had to drop out of school to work as a waitress as my family had kicked me out because of it, and I managed to still raise my child for several years alone before I received a call one day from him. I naturally allowed him into my life again, and even let him meet his son against everyone's advice.
It all made sense to me, as he was much more successful than me financially and had no other reason to return to me than love, until an ex lover of his contacted me.
Apparently he was cheating on another girl with her, and when she found out she kicked him in his groin so hard that he became unable to have children.
As a result, he was only with me because the only child he would ever have was mine.
Despite knowing this, he has been kind to us and the child has taken a liking to him, should I continue allowing him to be part of the family I built on my own, or should I confront him with this knowledge to verify it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow if your family kicked you out that's not right, That caused you to drop out of school, no i wouldn't take him back but he would still have to take care of his child and pay child support.

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    • He wants to marry me, now

    • yet he was cheating and got what he deserved. How do you know he is not going to cheat on you again?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Him losing the ability to reproduce doesn't mean he loses his ability to cheat. You already lost everything for him , and you could lose more in the future. I really hope that you go see a therapist working on issues bc this level is too much.

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    • Learn to love yourself. And talk about other stuff

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    • (I tried to contact her again, but she hung up on me repeatedly. He has also showed me the hospital report post trauma detailing his injuries (I am not entirely comfortable going into the details), as well as a report on his subsequent semen samples)

    • I thought about it. I mean everyone deserves a second chance but it's unhealthy how you depend on him emotionally. I think you can give him another chance , But be prepared and think about what to do if he leaves / cheats again.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Sure easy love and money marry that guy girl. Who cares what his reasons are and if you want another kid adopt.
    Why ask him just remember that he loves you and soon you will make up new reasons to love him and forget his assumed ones.

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  • Guy is bad news, don't get close to him.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Definitely confront him. Tell him if he wants to be a part of your family (and he's gotta understand that it is YOUR family, since he didn't even want a child in the first place) then he needs to be 100% honest with you. If he can agree to that and confirm what you were told about not being able to produce children, then I say he genuinely wants to be a part of your family.

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    • If he is only with me because I bore him a child while he was still capable of it, would that make his love untrue?

    • I don't know, I think you've gotta ask him that

    • I asked him and he admitted to me what had happened. I am not sure if she was lying, he said he confronted her and grabbed her by the wrist forcefully because she cheated him of a large sum of money, and that she wasn't even his lover. When he refused to let go of her after a few warnings, she kicked him between the legs until he had to let go of her. He waited to long to see a doctor and as a result they were unable to save his reproductive ability. (He showed me the official medical reports)
      I tried to contact her again after that but she hung up on me. He admitted that initially he only came to me because I bore the only heir he would ever have, but instead fell for me again and will stay and make amends to me. What would you do if you were me?

  • You need to confront him. You've put him in your child's life and have to see what happens there if you shut him out if the child's life now you are going to be the hated parent. Plus he can sue for custody that cost money. All you can do as far as your child goes now is be there and take care of the child and if or when his father walks out you'll be there to support your child. Also, you really should think about getting paternity test to force him to be onligated to child support regardless what actions he takes in the future.

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  • Confront him and tell him that even though this is most likely true, since he does make an effort he’s still allowed in your life.

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  • Oh wow. I wonder how long did it take for him to be able to move after such attack?

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    • I do not know, but I am curious about what exactly happened to make her hit him so hard, his side of the story, as well as more details on his injuries and will be confronting him soon

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    • Even tho he has already had the shit kicked out of him already? (albeit by another girl)

    • Yep. This and that are two different things.

  • girl, he should be paying for child support

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  • Well first of all, you should verify this with him as she might be lying in a bid to steal him away from you. I have hope that he might have realised how fucked up he was to you and is here to make amends, perhaps not even romantically.
    If it is true, then it would be another dilemma, as he might cheat on you (if he still can, how much damage did her kick do?) once he has custody.

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    • I am unsure of how to confront him about this. Um.. He has had sex with me if that is what you are asking, but I think she means he is sterile

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