Do men let women get away with more?

A lot of times when I see or hear about other people's relationships, it seems like men put up with a lot of things from women that I would never stand for if I were in their situation.

There are a number of posts on this site that show that men aren't happy about these things.

Some examples include:

- women expect men to initiate (show interest, ask women out, make the first move (kissing, sex, etc.)

- women expect men to pay for dates, spend lots of money on them, contribute more to finances

- women play games and cause drama instead of being honest about what they want from a guy

- women contribute less to relationships and are more dependent on men

- women have higher expectations of men then men do of women (job, popularity, looks, confidence, ability to provide security)

- women expect men to do traditionally female roles (cooking, cleaning, etc.) but aren't willing to do traditionally male roles (fixing the car, mowing the lawn, repairs around the house)

While I don't necessarily agree with all these things, and I certainly don't think they're universal, there are a lot of women who do fall into these categories.

Most women wouldn't put up with a guy who didn't initiate, expected her to pay for everything, was dependent on her, refused to help cook and clean, etc. But it seems like a lot of men do put up with women who aren't willing to do these things.

It seems to me that if more men were willing to hold women to higher expectations and not put up with a woman who isn't interested in equality in their relationship, that women would have to "shape up" and start living up to those expectations. That they'd eventually realize that, "Hey, what I'm doing isn't working, maybe I should try a different approach."

My question is, why do men continue to date and have relationships with women who hold them to different standards than they hold themselves? Do you not mind the double standards? Does their attractiveness or other things about them outweigh these things? Are you afraid that if you don't put up with this stuff, other men will and you'll end up alone?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Same reason women keep going back to abusive boyfriends - low self esteem, think they can't do better, all the women they have been with acted the same way so they think it's normal, ad infinitum.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Honestly? I don't put up with it. But then, I'm not the norm. And the fact that I don't put up with it means I have a very scant relationship history.

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  • I found the right question to ask. Well I don't know if I'm the only guy who is different but I don't let women get away with it. Actually I've met in my life few girls, but that low number is probably because I don't get out often. What I can say about women is that they chased me, and I did really nothing. Maybe I should have done at least a little to keep the fire burning, but not chasing girls is what makes me a man.

    Women may hate me, may flirt me, may try different things. For me, their external makeup does not mean a thing, and it looks like exactly that's what women focus more on. I try to keep a happy life and ignore these trends, but I predict things will not last the way they are. Actually its easy to see the effects of this kind of behavior in western society: divorce, homosexuality, rape.. which are much higher in western world.

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  • If the choice is tolerate it or don't have sex, what do you expect? Women do those things because they can.

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  • Why? Because it's accepted by society as "normal". I do mind them, but I can't change the world. I personally don't care about attractiveness as much as their personality, but it might. Seems more or less a fact that if you don't put up with it you'll be alone. If a guy refused to pay for your portion of a cheque would you *want* to see him again? Probably not.

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    • "If a guy refused to pay for your portion of a cheque would you *want* to see him again? Probably not."

      That's kind of hard for me to answer because I would never expect a guy to pay my half. I always come prepared to pay my own way.

  • it's because women can get away with it, that's all I can say... Women rule the world! believe it or not

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    • Yeah, but I guess my question is WHY can women get away with it?

    • Because men want to f*** them

    • This is my theory. I have broken up with couple of Girlfriend just because I did'nt want to put up with the BS, while they wouldn't put up with mines. After a couple relationships I have come to the realization that it;s the way women are and if you leave instead of putting up with it, you'll never have a relationship. Igues it;s just how it works.

  • because they let me get into their family jewels

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  • i basically have no choice but to adapt

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