A lot of times when I see or hear about other people's relationships, it seems like men put up with a lot of things from women that I would never stand for if I were in their situation.
There are a number of posts on this site that show that men aren't happy about these things.
Some examples include:
- women expect men to initiate (show interest, ask women out, make the first move (kissing, sex, etc.)
- women expect men to pay for dates, spend lots of money on them, contribute more to finances
- women play games and cause drama instead of being honest about what they want from a guy
- women contribute less to relationships and are more dependent on men
- women have higher expectations of men then men do of women (job, popularity, looks, confidence, ability to provide security)
- women expect men to do traditionally female roles (cooking, cleaning, etc.) but aren't willing to do traditionally male roles (fixing the car, mowing the lawn, repairs around the house)
While I don't necessarily agree with all these things, and I certainly don't think they're universal, there are a lot of women who do fall into these categories.
Most women wouldn't put up with a guy who didn't initiate, expected her to pay for everything, was dependent on her, refused to help cook and clean, etc. But it seems like a lot of men do put up with women who aren't willing to do these things.
It seems to me that if more men were willing to hold women to higher expectations and not put up with a woman who isn't interested in equality in their relationship, that women would have to "shape up" and start living up to those expectations. That they'd eventually realize that, "Hey, what I'm doing isn't working, maybe I should try a different approach."
My question is, why do men continue to date and have relationships with women who hold them to different standards than they hold themselves? Do you not mind the double standards? Does their attractiveness or other things about them outweigh these things? Are you afraid that if you don't put up with this stuff, other men will and you'll end up alone?
Most Helpful Guy
Same reason women keep going back to abusive boyfriends - low self esteem, think they can't do better, all the women they have been with acted the same way so they think it's normal, ad infinitum.1