Can anyone give me advice on my ex?

OK I need some advice. Me and my ex have been together on/off for 4 years.

He broke up with me like a month and a half ago and it was because we argued too much :(.

I was so heartbroken about everything and even begged him like an idiot lol.

2 weeks after we broke up. He told me its over for good, that he's not in love anymore, I am not the same girl he fell in love with, and how we want different things. How can his feelings change in 2 weeks? Cause he was telling me how much I meant to him before we split.

So It got a bit messy he suggested we'll be friends and I was so hurt I didn't want to be, and it ended in him deleting my number. He also said I hope you find a boyfriend you want and he treats you well, you deserve it :S.

So I hadn't spoke or seen him for 2weeks, and I bump into him at my local pub. He asked me like 5 times if I am alright. When we both agreed not to have a friendship :S.. And I tried to be strong and not have a convo with him cause it would put me back to square one !

The worst thing is all his friends and his mom says he still loves me.. They won't stop talking to me about him. Saying how he is an idiot to let me go and how he loves me but fells we argue too much. I don't know who to believe.

Its a weird one cause obviously I still love him. But he broke my heart. I don't know whether he's means what he says.

I ended up texting him the other night to say thanks for asking if I was OK. And he replied yeah just checking to see if your cool cause you looked grumpy.. And we had a simple convo like how are you and all that and his replies where limited.

I wish I knew what was going on in his head, is he just trying to be friends with me. When we broke up before he always ignores me and this time he replies to my texts and trays to say hello when I see him :S: x


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think the answer lies in your question itself. So far whoever answer your question seems to ignored that line when he said to you "you are not the same girl he fell in love with, and how we want different things." other then this I don't see anything else whihc sugggest that he has done something wrong. He found you changed (you might or he just felt it) and due to the change there is lots of arguments going on. He fed up and asked for peace.

    His friends can stalk or lie for him but not his family. I think he still loves you and want you back but he definately want you back the way you were before. He is as hesitant to take you back unchanged as much you want him to take you back without you just realising what went worng or what you possibly did wrong.

    If oyu are sencere and have the courage then think of the early days of yourself and then the end and try to find out what exactly changed in you from start to end. If you find nothing, then its not your fault. You just need to move on.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe you both are meant for each other. This australian girl can give you a good plan. That's what you need...a plan ==> link

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What Girls Said 5

  • I think you need to stay away from him. He keeps asking you if you are alright because he thinks you are a mess without him.

    His family might be saying those things but you weren't dating his family and you don't know what he has shared with his family either. Also, because you two are not speaking he could be getting his family to "check up on you" to how you are handling the situation.

    It doesn't matter what he says. Can he back it up. He says he loves you, but he leaves you. You mean so much to him but when you cut him off, he didn't try to get a hold of you. He told you it's done for good.

    What you need to do is work on how you are gonna get through this. But he walked away from what you thought was a good thing and you have to do the same now. Sometimes letting go is the hardest thingsto do. But when you do, you'll suprise yourself at how strong you are and how everthing happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go. Today seems like a good day to start.

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  • Forget about him, I know that hurts to hear but I really didn't need to read beyond 'we argure too much' think about you, do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you argue too much with? realize that both of you have changed, for the better separately but together you're just not that great.

    I had been in a relationship that dragged on for 2 years because I didn't want to be alone, I look back at myself and think, don't be a coward, go find yourself, and eventually I did and married a great man. and every so often I think back, what if I would have married that jackbutt I was dating, scary!

    also I am friends with a married man that has a horrible wife, they just aren't good together and none of his friends like her, you don't want to be that naggy women all this friends would love to laugh at do you?

    I know it hurts a LOT, get active in a sport or exercise hang with your girls (I hung with mine everyday for months when I broke up with that loser so long ago) distract your mind with anything so as to not think about him, I swear this helps.

    Please, please! don't settle for someone because you know them and love them, we can love anybody if we want to really. Find a man that makes you feel like a goddess, I did.

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  • Just being honest here - but if he wanted you back, he would have said so. I suggest you stop contacting him all together. Either he'll miss you too much that he'll make contact OR he'll move on. Don't force anything cos you'll only end up looking desperate

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  • Sounds like my ex a bit but he still showed that he cared for you after he said how much he loved you. Mines didn't.

    Just leave him alone...Its sounds like you still have a chance being with him again. Space would make easier for you guys to be with each again.

    Show him that you are happy. Don't beg him again. I did that and it made it worse for me and my ex. If I did again. I would not belittle myself like I did.

    Good Luck

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  • Your situation mirrors mine. I was a mess for months when my ex dumped me. His reason was "It's not you, it's me", and "You deserve better". Like you, my ex even told me, "Well when you get a boyfriend it will be easier to forget about me". I should have taken his advice and never turned back, but I did. Letting go and moving on after being rejected was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But trust me, the sooner you do this, the better off you will be. Do not contact him, do not respond if he contacts you, nothing. I made the mistake of keeping in contact (he wanted to stay friends, his way of "lightening the blow"). Your ex needs to respect that you are trying to heal and move on. He made his decision, and you need to accept that and make a better life for yourself, for when the one that's meant to be with you arrives! I hope this helps! =)

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