It will take time for my ex to get over the bad things I did. Ladies and gents I need your help.

My brief break up story... me and my girl were together for 2 years were madly in love. she felt like she was losing the love the last 6 months because I started to be more and more jealous and angry and she broke up with me 4 weeks ago

the first 2 weeks we didn't really talk. and she decided to stay back at our apartment.

and this is not by choice. we are both in a financial situation with new car payments.

and I can't go back home because I left home 8 months ago to be with her. and home is 11 hrs away.

anyways I know exactly what my problem was. and I'm not being the typical "i changed" guy.

i really understand why she did what she did. and I completely agree with her.

no she didn't deserve me being the jealous boyfreind. or the angry boyfreind too. I know that.

I've been reading books and been read on some tips and exercises to help me with jealousy to control it more and also anger.

i am going to anger groups and also reading books on it..

an it has changed my view on everything.


and now I know the way it should be the way I know I REALLY am to treat a woman. she's and amazing woman, funny, smart, everything I want in a girl. this woman deserves to be treated like a angel that she is. not the way I was and I can see that an I'm going to work for the rest of my life to make sure I'm not like this anymore.

mostly every girl deserves just the simple things. and she is one of them. and I know how to give to her. and I know the way she should be treated. I'm deeply in love with this woman.

i have contacted her father and NOT for the reason to try to convince her that she should come back. I told her father that I am sorry for not manning up and taking care of sh*t when I was suppose to. and I'm sorry for treating your daughter that way she never deserves that.

i told him that I was in love with his daughter. and that by some miracle or if there is ever a chance he has my word that I will NEVER treat her again like that. I will treat her like and angel that she is. and he has my word that I will provide for her and protect her.

now I know it will take time for my ex to get over the bad things I did... but lately she has found a new guy.. and she has said that she does like him. she is certain 100 % she doesn't want a relationship with him or ANYBODY and I do believe her.but she also doesn't know what will happen between them two.. but for now she's into him.

she said she likes me a little bit.?!?! and I did tell her all of these things and it didn't change her mind or feelings. so?! she said she doesn't love me like before. but thinks about the good times.

she has said that maybe in the future there will be a chance because she doesn't know what the future holds. but she thinks that it probably won't happen. and this is what hurts.


and if so.. please tell me how or some tips to help me.
i am being freindly and a little more casual... and she has said that she's very happy to see me happier and she wants me to succeed. so everything is somewhat OK I guess... today she told me that I don't have to walk on eggshells around her.?


Most Helpful Girl

  • First off, I think that it's great that you're willing to acknowledge that you were in the wrong, and that you've actually made an effort to change. It shows that you really do care, and I'm sure that anyone could appreciate that, including this girl.

    However, she did break up with you. She has made an effort to move on, and to be honest, the prospect of taking a chance on another heartbreak like that, when she's already been through it once before, probably doesn't appeal to her right now. She's been in a relationship for the past 2 years, and could probably use some time to work on her relationship with herself, regardless of what happened between the two of you.

    She said that there is still a chance, but that she needs time. So give her that space and time. Show her that you trust and respect her decisions. Keep in touch, and be friendly, but not needy. And make an effort to demonstrate that you've changed. Find ways to show her that you're not who you used to be, instead of just telling her. Words aren't always enough, and it's not as though she can come to your anger sessions with you, or see you reading self-help books... She's not able to watch how you act in some other relationship, so you have to give her a reason to believe you, other than that she was in love with you and obviously didn't want to have to break up with you in the first place.

    If it was meant to be, she'll come around. But give it time. And for now, just make the most of the time that you have to be alone, reflect, maybe pick up a new hobby or find a new outlet for your stress (a new sport or something, maybe?). Seeing that you're able to make yourself happy without her will definitely be good for her. If you can't make yourself happy, then you can't please anyone else, because you just won't be a happy person. No other person can truly "complete" you. They can just add to what should already be a solid foundation.

    Hope this helps. I am sure that if you really love this girl, you'll do whatever it takes. You're on the right track... Just don't rush it. Take it as it comes.


    Oh, and if you get the chance to take a look at my question as well, any input would be really appreciated! :)

    • Thank you very much... this really did help... I do still have hope that maybe someday... so I can't give up just yet... lol but thank you. and I will take a look at your question and see what its about. I appreciate that you helped me out.... I just want to ask one more thing?!. NO matter what she says.. is it possible to change her mind? she thinks there will never be chance. but she's not sure of it.

      is it possible to change her decision? no matter what she says.. ?

    • Show All
    • please help me out... I don't know what to do.. she said she does want to hang out to see the new me and to see if she will like it..

      and maybe she will spark something..

      but she says Who Knows...

      lets just see what happens.

      what happens... happens..

      so? is that what I should do?

      just let things be and see what happens?

      should I try to get her back now? or is it to soon?

      she feels like I am trying to.. so should I ease off?

      should I still get the black dress or no?

    • and what will be good for the date.. OK well I think its date she thinks its hanging out...

      anyways what will be good.?

      since she thinks its hanging out..


      Should I bring flowers or nothing?

      i was thinking of 1 single rose. or something..

      but will that be appropiate for the "Hang out"?

      or should I just let it be a hang out and not try to make it a date?

      and how do I make it a date?

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What Girls Said 1

  • Actions will speak louder than words. If she sees a change and wants to get back with you, then she will. Maybe she just wants to move on now.

    • Ok I kinda know what you mean... lol sorry. I'm confused with myself of course.

      ummmm... what do you mean like move on now?? should I let her date this guy and see what happens later? its a little hard because we live in the same apt. so? what do you think is a good way to try to win her over?

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    • One thing is clear... she does flirt with me sometimes... she's always touching my body and saying I lost weight... but she also is a freindly girl. but won't get that freindly with a guy unless she's comfterble with him.

    • Ok, well you know her best. You guys were together before, so I'm sure you'll know if she wants to be with you again.

What Guys Said 1

  • You have a chance but you need to move out. If you don't, you will definitely not have a chance. I was in the same situation, didn't listen to some good advice and lost her forever. This guy will give you good advice, as long as you take action ==> link


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