What else can a man do to gain access to his son?

I am appalled by the way my partner's ex-wife is behaving towards allowing him to have access to his son. She's taken intervention orders out on him just to get rid of him, told him that this is my child and you can't get your claws into him (but quite happy to take child support payments from him). All he wants is to enjoy his son and do what's best for his son. He's tried family court proceedings, but the ex really just wants him to go away, even has said 'it is better if you were dead'. He can now call at a certain time to speak with his son and it pains him to hear his ex say 'X' is on the phone, not ' your Dad'. I don't think she will ever say that nor want to believe it.

He's tried everything reasonably possible to just spend some time with his son. Has any other Dad's gone through this process, able to offer assistance? Does any Mum's know what could be the best way forward from an outsiders perspective?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well unless the two people are married, he is just bobo the sperm guy. Is his name on the birth certificate? If isn't, he doesn't have to pay child support. If he isn't on the birth certificate he has to apply to be the legal guardian for sure.

    I'm not saying what she is doing is right but keep in mind that you are only hearing one side of the story. I say this because my sister is going through the same thing. She is very accommodating tho. She wants to keep the father away from the son but can't keep the son away from the father. My brother in law rarely pays child support but gets to see him all the time. So I understand where you are coming from, with your concerns. He needs to go to maintenance and enforcement. But to be honest it doesn't sound right if he is on the birth certificate as the father. This mean he has to be able to visit the child (at least monitored visits if he as gone to court). Like, I said there might be something he isn't telling you.

    She might be more then willing to take child support payments but truth be told she has every right to demand it. Do you have any idea what single mothers go through? Like I said not saying what she is doing is right. But if he has no part in the situation, who is taking care of the child when she goes to work or if she sits on her ass that money is still for the kid. She could be sitting at home spending it for all we know. Understand that he has responsibilities as a father and even though he is honoring that, doesn't mean that she needs to honor her part. This just shows her character.

    What I learned from my sister, is that the person who really suffers is the child. Until the mother sees that, she will continue to keep him away from the child.

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    • He's on the birth certificate. Has no problem paying for child support as he loves his son and wants the best for him. She just wants nothing to do with him and wants to be a single mum. He wants the best for his son. But as you say at the end, until the mother sees this, she will continue what she is doing. It is just sad that here a father wants to have a relationship with his son, but can't because the woman has said so. There must be a law against this?

    • Well like I meantioned. That doesn't sound right. He has to take her to court. So if he is saying he did that, I find it hard to believe that nothing has come out of it. So something is missing.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • He needs to stop listening to his ex. Get a lawyer, and get shared custody, she can not prevent this, unless she proves he will harm the child. Once share custody is established, she must abide or risk being stripped of her custody of their child.

    Talk to a lawyer, he/she will be able to suggest an appropriate course of action in this situation. BTW if the lawyer starts screwing around (trying to get extra min out of your interactions - to charge you more) and seems unorganized; my suggestion is to dump him/her, and find someone who doesn't waste your time.

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  • sh*t laws swayed towards women in marriage

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  • Its sad when adults use children to get back at the partner, he can try the unemployed no income to cut of the payments etc or go oseas to make a point. Or court proceedings but that's expensive and not the best solution, not a lot you can do when she is crazy like this maybe with time she will calm down and change her mind...

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What Girls Said 1

  • He needs to go back to court and do a change of visitation or try to get joint custody. The ex can't keep his son from him and what she is doing is alienating his son from him. I don't know how old the son is but if he is over 7 he should get him into counseling because the ex will turn his son against him and she will loose custody if this can be proven. He needs to keep fighting, prove the abuse and get full custody, oh and keep a notebook and document everything.

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    • The son is 2.5 years of age. Ultimately, joint custody is the best way forward. I suppose it just takes time. Thanks for your response.

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