How to move on when your boyfriend breaks up without a legit reason?

It has only been about a week and half since we broke up, so I know I am in the beginning stages of moving on... However, I feel I don't have any closure and I just feel angry. Mostly, it's because he was the type of man that I thought I would never meet. He was perfect for me in many ways... or at least so I thought. He told me time and time again that he felt the same way. We were together for a little over four months.

The general back story to this is that we were at a wedding together about two weeks ago, right before we broke up. My boyfriend paid attention to me, but he was aloof most of the time... getting drinks for a few other girls and not dancing with me as much. I felt like his friend rather than his date and girlfriend. He was definitely ignoring me on purpose. He even admitted to it, that he felt he was ignoring me. I told him the next morning that I didn't like his behavior.And so, he apologized for ignoring me.

However, immediately after this conversation, he says he wanted to think on whether or not he wanted to see me anymore. So, I gave him a week to make a decision... and he broke up with me later on that week. He says he broke up with me because I was going away to Europe. I have always wanted to teach English abroad in France, and I am planning to do so in January, which is two months from now. However, I never confirmed the dates as to exactly when I was going... so he didn't know when I would be leaving. So... he said, based on this reason, that he didn't feel like he wanted to invest in our relationship.

I just don't feel like this is much of a reason. I just feel so frustrated because he was good to me throughout our relationship. He even said he felt like he was falling for me and he felt afraid to stay with me if I was just going away to Europe. Maybe he was scared? I mean, I admit he didn't treat me right by ignoring me the night of the wedding. Another thing that p*ssed me off was the fact that he slept with me and then broke up with me the next morning. It was a really d*** move on his part. Maybe the ignoring me and using me by sleeping with me, would qualify as reasons? :-(. But its so bizarre? We were together on an average of three or four times a week. We never fought, we occasionally disagreed, but never had any serious issues. Not only that, he wanted to stay friends after we broke up, which also is crap. He has called me twice since we broke up. I have told him I don't want to stay friends because I don't want to be his bench warmer! I deserve better than that! Ughh! What do you guys think happened? Especially any men who have opinions, that would be very helpful as well :-) Thanks!


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What Guys Said 1

  • Ldr are hard to maintain, maybe he sees it as a problem and breaking up is the solution, so you can see other people and he's free to do that, he wants to stay friends because he might want to get back with you later on

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What Girls Said 1

  • since he broke up with you because he didn't think you would be there, that is legit.

    I think you should try to understand from his stand point more. He won't have you there as a girlfriend, and he feels that you are choosing teaching overseas/yourself over him and the relationship. this probably hurts him a lot. If I was him I would also want to break up with you. He does love or at least like you to have told you he wanted to be your friend still.

    I think you should move on, and just go have fun in Europe. If you really choose him more than Europe then you should let him know that you can try to find a job in the states and try to make it work with him.

    Love desires sacrifice some times. I gave up my job, family and friends (hobbies, favorite places etc) to be with my guy. I some times feel like I would give up anything to be with him.

    If you can't do that, then you probably don't really love him. You have to see if you are capable of giving up everything to be with him, and that would make you happy.

    think about it. Have fun in Europe.

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    • From life experiences though, I think if you really care for someone, you should stay with them as long as you can. That's why I feel like he doesn't care about me and something changed .I am still here and not only that, my plans have changed. Partly because of this break-up and also because of financial reasons. And he knows the reason why I am leaving is because of a dream.... not because of him. Thanks for the advice though, its nice to have it from someone who isn't a close friend :-)

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