Would you consider this cheating?

OK this is pretty complicated so bear with me. About a year ago I got married to my high school sweetheart without my family's knowledge. I was 20 and he was 21. When we told them we were married they were NOT OK with it. My husband was in the military so I moved across country to live with him. Before this I was still living with my parents. So about 3 months into my marriage, my relationship with my family has gone way down hill from my moving away with my husband and they finally say they'll completely disown me and stop talking to me if I don't divorce my husband. Even though I loved him dearly I was scared and didn't want to lose my family so I left him.

I moved back across the country and back in with my parents and they acted like nothing ever happened. Meanwhile I was miserable and having serious doubts as to whether I did the right thing. I got really depressed and my self confidence was pretty much shattered so I ended up doing some really awful stuff including sleeping with two different guys.

After 3 months back with my parents I got so depressed I was ready to end my life. I knew I did the wrong thing by leaving my husband and I felt my life was going nowhere. I ended up calling my husband and telling him literally everything. We weren't divorced yet and I hadn't spoken to him since I left. He said he still loved me and I ended up moving back in with him and trying to fix our marriage.

Ever since we got back together it's really bothered him that I slept with other people. I feel horrible for it as well and I've spent hours talking to him about it and telling him how sorry I am. My question is - would you consider it cheating? We weren't divorced at the time but we had the papers signed and ready to turn in to the lawyers and we weren't even speaking. At the time it happened we both honestly thought we'd never be together again and it wasn't like I did it to try to make him jealous. I was just miserable and feeling bad about myself. Any opinions are welcomed! Thanks for reading!


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What Guys Said 1

  • I would yeah. Until that divorce is final I would have it in my head that we were still together. And you still loved him. The divorce wasn't over something bad.

    Anyway don't beat yourself up over it. Things happen and you ended up back with him anyway. I'm sure you'll get through it, have a great time, and make beautiful babies. lol


What Girls Said 1

  • as long as you were super sorry.

    he should understand sooner or later, that you were going through a hard time without him and that's why you did it

    I think if he can forgive you, and you guys really work at it that everything will be ok.

    that does suck that your family was so mean though

    I hope the best for you and your husband

    divorce is like... kind of high in the US... *sigh*

    I am a newly wed too, and it seems like my culture and his really clash and my family really didn't want me to marry my guy either but I wanted to and I felt he really loved me... plus guess what? He's in the military too and he's overseas, I am with him now but my mom wants me back home and I keep telling him I am going to go back home too because yes, family does have a big influence on their kids... he has to understand that.

    well, he is your family now. And it means that he should ahve the most influence on your life now. you should totally reassure him that he has more influence on you than anyone, and that if there is one person you will go to the ends of the earth for it should be him now... again good luck


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