Please read? How is this revised letter?

I posted a different version of this letter a few days ago, and I changed some things, and I just wanted to make sure it's still good before I send it. I shortened it, but it was still too long for one screenshot. Thank you in advance.

Back story:
I started dating this absolutely amazing girl in 2013. By spring 2014 we were exclusive with each other. We broke up at the end of summer because she was Mormon and I wasn't. Plus her parents didn't like me for that reason alone.
In November 2015 I reached out to her after a dream of her, and after telling me her frustrations about our break up, she said she didn't want me in her life. A few months later, she reached out to me and after a few weeks of talking again, she revealed she decided to go on a mission, and I confessed my love for her. She and I got into a relationship again and even discussed marriage but she said she would accept for real when she returned. She left in December 2016.
Because of her departure and the mission, she broke things off and kept trying to convert me. My Mormon friend said that she's just on a religious high, and things may change when she comes home.
She comes home in a month, and I wanted to send this letter to her to try to reconnect with her.
Please share what you think. I really need advice on it.
Please read? How is this revised letter?
Please read? How is this revised letter?
Please read? How is this revised letter?
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